Avoiding Cliches Like the Plague
by Socks-With-Stripes
Summary: A detailed analysis of what's wrong with lots of fanfictions and how to fix those problems. The complete guide to writing an interesting, logical, and decent story. Can also be used for original stories, too.
1. Introduction

**Introduction**

If you are reading this, you have clearly stumbled upon the magical and terrifying world of fanfiction. This is one of the many guides out there giving you tips for your story. I assume most people start these because they have writer's block or are bored, or, like me, are absolutely horrified by some of the stories you can find on this site. I'm not going to pretend to have a fancy degree in English, but I do read and write a lot. And, as Shauna Cross (author of _Whip It_) showed us, you don't need a fancy degree to write well.

It's not much fun taking advice from a stranger, so I'll talk about myself a little at first.

I live in Canada. I am teenage female, as are most writers here. I created this account for the sole purpose of attempting to improve the fanfics out there. While I am Canadian, I'm also Australian. I have a large collection of hedgehogs in my room and hula hoop dance. If you've never heard of hula hoop dancing, I strongly recommend that you search it on youtube right now. It's worth five minutes of your time.

While you may have found fanfiction some other way, I discovered it through a friend. A few years ago, I had just read the Twilight books and hated them. If you really like Twilight, please ignore my comments about it. Well, my friend told me to read a story called _Bella Hale_, which turned out to be much better than I expected. The writing style was quirky and entertaining, far superior to the crap Meyer was writing. The characters had much more depth. Things _actually happened._

Excited by this, I ventured out of the Twilight section and moved onto Sonic the Hedgehog, another one of my great loves. I was deeply disappointed by the lack of humor and entertainment that was so apparent in _Bella Hale_. After a while, the Sonic writers began to fail me and seemed to write less and less interesting things. Although that probably came from the fact that there just aren't enough creative things you can do with such characters. Also, as I now realize, fanfiction writers are often hopelessly lazy and give up.

Once through my Sonic faze, another friend introduced me to the Percy Jackson books. I had already decided not to read Harry Potter fanfiction, seeing as I knew it would cause me great pain to see my favourite series be destroyed like that. Upon finishing _The Last Olympian,_ I launched myself into this aspect of fanfiction. I clicked on the first story that looked interesting. After two chapters, I was close to tears. It was that painfully bad. In desperation, I click on another. It seemed alright. But then two characters began randomly making out for no apparent reason. The next hundred I clicked on were like that, too.

That is not to say that there's no hope. I have found a few diamonds out there, some of them getting the attention they deserve, some of them not.

I hope I make myself clear through this: The Percy Jackson fanfictions are making me weep for humanity. Since when did Annabeth get that romantic and sappy? Have you ever seen people come up to each other, then, with no build up or warning whatsoever, confess there love and start having sex? What did you read in those books that ever implied Nico had any kind of romantic interest in anyone? Why do you think Luke and Rachel are such horrible people? How did you get it in your head that you can figure out that you're pregnant two days after you had sex?

The answers are: Annabeth is not romantic and sappy (nor is her name a real name)

You have never seen anyone act like that.

You didn't read anything that implied that, and Nico is a depressed twelve-year-old with little control over his life. It's not that I don't like him. That's the truth.

Luke and Rachel act like regular humans: Luke wants revenge for being mistreated, which does not mean he would punch Annabeth in the face. Rachel really liked Percy, so she told him.

And as far as I know (seeing as I have no experience in this) it can take anywhere from three weeks to three months to realize you are pregnant. This is not Twilight, people.

So there you have it. This guide is meant to help you, but I will be brutally honest in the process. With any luck, I'll make even one fanfiction better. For a quick preview of what's to come:

-Actual Sections on Actual Problems!

-How to write a decent plot!

-How to make up decent characters!

-Writing Romance!

-Editing!

-Lots more! (22 sections including this one, probably)

Before you cry over what you thought to be your masterpiece, let me point something out: Real, published authors have real, live editors. So it's okay to make mistakes. Though I have to say, this fandom seems to make more mistakes than any other. And so, in the words of our lord and master:

"This country has been sick, this country needs healing, this country needs medicine - in fact I'd go so far as to say that, what this country really needs, right now, is a Doctor."

-The Master (Doctor Who)

_Sorry if you didn't get that… it's from a TV show, Doctor Who._

-Socks


	2. The Preview

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

**The Preview**

They say "Don't judge a book by its cover." The unfortunate thing about fanfiction is that people, myself included, do tend to judge your story by its "cover." You know that little bit of space that you get to convince people to read your story? Well, if that doesn't look good, people won't bother reading the rest. And seeing as it's the first thing people see from your story, it's the first thing we'll talk about.

The Title

Scrolling down through the masses of fanfictions, you'll be looking at the title before anything else. And if you're like me, you read the titles and maybe the description, then skip over 90% of them without a second glance.

Rule # 1: _Your title must be interesting!_

You want something original. You want something that will catch someone's eye. For example: _The Unfortunate Incident of the Possum Tree_

You want something unique. Something that screams "I am so much cooler than your average fanfiction!" It will also be easier to find on Google.

Mechamorphosis

_Clockwork_

_Always Avoid Alliteration_

_Murphy's Law_

_The Porpoise Effect_

_Pinwheels_

Of course, people will read your story even if the title isn't the best. "The Lightening Thief" wouldn't be one of my top choices for a story name, but it does the trick.

What you want to avoid are titles that will stop people from taking you seriously. Even if your story is strictly humor, people will think of it as a joke (and not a good one) if you don't have a decent title.

DO NOT, under any circumstances, name your story after a song. It seems unoriginal and makes little impact, compared to a name that you made up. Also, it links you to the worst fanfiction ever, _My Immortal_.

Capitalizing letters is possibly even more important than the title itself. "the hidden sowrd" is a story no one would want to read because a) there are no capital letters, making it look unprofessional, and b) "sword" has been spelled wrong.

Also, titles like "How I got to Camp," "PERCABETH!" "Very Random," "I'll make up a name later," (or any kind of non-title) and "What could happen?" are very, very unappealing. They are not interesting, or creative, and don't make much sense.

Summary  
>Okay, I know writing your summary is hard. You get a tiny number of characters (255) do describe the gist of your oh-so-interesting story. But the thing is, it's all you have. You have to make do with it.<p>

For example: _Amber meets a man on the subway. He knows her, but she's never met him. As she tracks him down, secret memories unfold and Amber becomes a part of the world she used to belong to. But if she gets too far in, the consequences will be fatal._

And that's below the limit. You want to describe up to when the real action starts. It's really up to you how much you want to say. But there are a few things that you should never, ever do:

-Once again, use proper grammar, or else!

-Don't say things like "my first fic." If you want to improve, you have to be treated like everyone else.

-Saying "I suck at summaries" is like saying "I suck at writing" and "this will drag out."

-Asking for no flames will guarantee flames. And trolling.

-By saying that you're not sure where your story is going, it makes you seem unorganized. _Plan ahead!_

-Telling us that the summary is in the first chapter means that 90% of people will not spare your story a second glance. Why? Because humans are ridiculously lazy creatures who enjoy putting in minimal effort. If we have to go one step further to read your story, we won't.

-When you write "Better than it sounds," it's not helping you. Having written some stories and then attempted to describe them to people, I understand that stories often sound stupid when you try to talk about them. Even things like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and Doctor Who sound really dumb when simply described. But saying that you story is better than it looks doesn't make you look very professional.

Let's take a look at some examples and decide what's wrong with them.

_This is where i met harry saxon_

_Sallys old friend returns to town and stays with the Jacksons.. While he seems harmless Percy soon discovers there's more to this 'old friend than meets the eye Digging his way through twisted lies and conspiracies Sally:s friend becomes less appealing and moore dangerous._

First of all, the lack of capitalization in the title is bad. The title itself is pretty good, seeing as it keeps you asking questions. The description, while totally void of grammar, gives just enough information to get you guessing and interested. Not bad, but the grammar would stop many, many people from reading it. Let's look at another.

PERCHAL StoRIeZ!

_What if percy and Rachel got together? romance friendship and funny! not much anabeth tratie prachel thalico. Sorry i suck at summeris. my first fic so no flames hatersss!_

Well. Where to start. For the record, I_ have_ seen things like this. The title seems ridiculous (Perchal stories? Really?) and the capitalization is all messed up. And "stories" has not Z in it. The what-if in the summary makes it seem like the author is questioning him or herself. It really doesn't say much, just lists pairings that they intend on putting in. There's no effort put into the grammar and spelling, and the word "hatersss" makes the whole thing seem very immature. The last two sentences break three of the rules. This story is begging to be flamed or ignored. Partly because of the writing. And partly because Rachel's there and people seem to hate her.

_Untitled_

_Nico finds a mysterious girl on the streets. Full summary inside. Not sure where this is going so I'll name it later._

The grammar is actually pretty good, but I would never, ever read this story. The story (Nico finds the girl) sounds like every other bad fanfiction I've ever read. This one may be the work of a genius, but the "Not sure where this is going" begs to differ. There's also no name. And, like everyone else, I'm way too lazy to click on it and read the full summary inside.

So, to sum it all up, describe your story, grab people's attention, and don't ask for their sympathy. People are lazy, and if you don't get them interested right away, they won't even take the time to click on your story. Sad, but true.

Now, as you ponder how you will write your summary, I suggest you listen to some Bomb the Music Industry! (it's a band) eat frozen yogurt with Nutella, read some Neil Gaiman, and watch Doctor Who.

-Socks


	3. Grammar and Spelling

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

**Grammar and Spelling**

I always hated grammar in school. It wasn't until grade nine (when I had an amazing English teacher who made us grammar freaks and caused big grammar debates every Wednesday) that I really cared about it. But, as much as we dislike it, grammar is very, very important. So I'm very sorry, but this section isn't quite as exciting as the others. But, it's still necessary.

It's good to know your weaknesses in grammar. That way, when you reread your story before submitting it, you can look for problems you know will occur. I know that I overuse commas like there no tomorrow. And so, when I proofread something I've just written, I look for commas that I can remove.

When it comes to spelling, your computer can help you. That's what spell-check is for. What's kind of sad is that people don't even look at a word when they let spell-check correct it, resulting in them never knowing how to spell things like "avaricious."

"But if spell-check is going to correct all my mistakes, why do I need to read it over?" you and many others ask. Ah. The ultimate writing mistake. Spell-check corrects words it doesn't recognize to a standard, American-spelled word that it _does_ recognize. But spell-check is often wrong in many ways.

First of all, if you are using a really uncommon word or a word that does not exist, spell-check will try to correct it. It might put an obnoxious squiggly red line underneath, or automatically change it. Spell-check doesn't recognize Annabeth, Nyx, Hermione, or Dalek, but these are all words that you may use in a story. On the subject of words that you've made up, you have to be consistent. If you have a place called Dnarr, you have to spell it that way all the time. Not Dnarr sometimes and then Dnar other times. That's just confusing. But if you have a reason that's relevant to your story, go ahead and change the way you spell it halfway through.

Next, if you are Canadian/British/Australian etc. you already know this problem. The fact that spell-check doesn't like the way you spell colour, or aluminium, or cuppa. So, you have to be careful and look at the word that your computer is trying to correct.

The last problem is that spell-check doesn't understand homonyms at all. You can write, "there are to many monsters," and it won't get underlined. Only your brain can tell the difference, so it's up to you to look over the story and figure out which words you misused or grammar mistakes you made.

Common misplaced words are their/they're/there (possessive, contraction, place), too/to (too is an amount), and bear/bare (possessive or animal, not covered). There are many others, but they would take forever to write. Homonyms, people, homonyms! You learned about them in grade 3!

You can find lots of spelling tricks out there, like "I before E, except after C!" but the unfortunate thing about the English (and French, too) language is that there are more exceptions than rules. "Beige," and "Ancient," both defy the I-before-E rule. Then anything with a Greek root that ends in an "ee" sound has an "e" rather than a "y" at the end, and if it's French, it has an "ie," because you so rarely pronounce the last letter in French.

Also, it is extremely important to remember that while spell-check may catch spelling mistakes, it does not catch grammar mistakes. "I will read when I am supposed to." ends with a preposition, and is therefore grammatically incorrect. My computer didn't realize this. It's YOUR brain that will do the thinking here. Not the computer.

So, now that you're all nice and confused, here are some lovely grammar rules. Yes, they are meant to contradict themselves, but they do help you remember.

Contractions aren't necessary .

One should never generalize.

Always avoid alliteration.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Be more or less specific.

One word sentences? Eliminate.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Don't repeat yourself or say what you have already said.

Eschew obfuscation.

A writer must not shift your point of view.

No sentence fragments.

Don't overuse exclamation marks!

Always be sure to finish what you

Of course, this is a story that you're writing, and stories are rarely grammatically correct. They tend to be written the way people speak, and people seldom use proper grammar in every day conversations. Dialogue is an exception to all of these rules. When someone's talking, you can go crazy. Why? Because that's what people do. It will make your seem more realistic to use improper grammar.

And now for an example of what not to do. This is proof that even real, published authors can write total crap and get away with it. I present to you a quote from _Breaking dawn:_

"Then I lifted my head and kissed him with a passion that might possibly set the forest on fire. I wouldn't have noticed." - Stephanie Meyer

My dreams of a better world just spontaneously combusted.

So don't worry. Even people who took majored in English at university can suck at writing. Everyone makes mistakes. It's just that Meyer has more mistakes than most people. There are so many things wrong with that quote. The cheesiness, the cliché, the _random tense change! _Yes, she does suddenly switch from past to present tense without reason.

The thing is, you want people to take you seriously. Even if it's supposed to be funny, people won't find it funny if it's obnoxious to read. Watch your spelling, grammar, and for the love of whatever it is you love, don't switch tenses unless you have a _really good reason._

Now, go listen to Luna (they're a band from the nineties) and reread all that stuff you wrote. I cannot emphasize enough_, if you want to be successful at writing, grammar and spelling are the first step!_ And we all know (from experience and watching too many viral videos) what happens when you miss the first step: you fall painfully and others laugh at you. It's never fun to be the object of entertainment.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

-Socks


	4. General Writing

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

**The Writing Itself**

When you think about why you like your favourite book, there can be many reasons that come to mind. Because you like the characters. Because you like the way the story unfolds. Because you like the concept. Because it has this certain element that you can't describe, but it makes the book amazing.

You're unlikely to say, "because the writing style is genius." Writing itself is hard to describe, making it very hard to deal with and correct. It's a fairly subtle thing, and if it's good, it can turn a bland story into the best thing you've ever read. It's that extra element, that one that you don't know how to describe. But if it's bad, the whole story is unbearable to read. I have picked up books, been fascinated by the back cover description, then read the first three chapters, and put it down because I couldn't stand the writing

First Part

It completely depends on the point of view you're writing from, but many people make this mistake in their introduction to their story: They start off with a few bland sentences describing the character. Par example:

"My name is Sophie. I'm 12 years old and had a pretty normal life, before all this weird stuff happened.. My mom left my dad and me before I was born and I never met her."

BORING!

You want to start with something interesting. Don't start with the character describing themself or their life. Your story should begin when something is happening. Whether it's a girl walking down to the docks so that some magical fish can tell her a story, (I have started a story like that) or a guy describing the soft drink he's consuming, seeing as it's the last he'll have for months (I'm still working on that story.)

Come on, people, even Twilight started out with Bella leaving her home. Harry Potter started with the most annoying family in the world having their world flipped upside down. Percy Jackson starts with… well the very beginning isn't perfect, but within the first chapter he becomes mildly schizophrenic, according to his classmates. Start your story with something out of the ordinary, an event that causes things to happen.

Descriptions

Obviously, you want to describe what's happening in your story. Adding bits about what characters look like, what things sound like, what places are like, and how things feel make your story seem more realistic. Descriptions are your friend. They make you story come to life. Unfortunately, they can also be that friend who stabs you in the back, asks out the guy you like, and successfully makes you miserable and incapable of doing anything particularly productive.

What you don't want to do is describe the same thing over and over again. You can refer to someone's "bushy brown hair," or their "piercing blue eyes," but once you've described a person or place, leave it at that. I have seen many would-be good stories go to waste because people spend too much time describing little details that no one really gives a crap about. We like to know that there's a domed ceiling, and blue walls, and that the carpet is so thick that your shoes disappear into it. But we don't really care that the walls were a precise midnight blue with little white flecks that you didn't see until you looked up close. We don't want to know what every picture on the wall looks like.

While it's okay to reference a part of a description every now and then, it's not okay to mention it every single time you read about that particular person/place/thing. This lessens the impact. If you are going to insist and describe a feeling over and over, at least make it a different description each time.

One part that you really don't want to over describe is any sort of romantic happening. These tend to get tedious and repetitive, not to mention the fact that people often get wrapped up in their own sexual and romantic fantasies, and write down way too much information. You may find yourself straying from the actual character and end up talking about that guy/girl that you've had your eye on forever.

In general, don't write too much description. Unless you can make it really entertaining, intriguing, or funny, people will find it super boring. Of course, on fanfiction, you more often find too little description. So, also remember this: we want to know what everything looks like in your story so that we can picture it happening.

Verbs

Verbs. Simple enough, right? Wrong. Verbs are some of the trickiest things to get right in a story. How many times is it acceptable to use "said" in a page? Is my character really "prancing" to her front door? What can I use rather than "pull," considering I've used that four times in the past two hundred words?

There are people who don't use enough verbs. Their characters WALK everywhere and SAY everything and TAKE stuff all the time. These people don't use much variety in their verbs, either because they're lazy, they don't see anything wrong with this, or they can't think of any more creative words to use. Stories like these becomes extremely tiring, seeing as there's a very limited number of words being used.

Then there are the people who seem to think that it's absolutely unacceptable to use the same verb more than once. The result is people "questioning" when they're not asking a question, "frolicking" while thoroughly depressed, and "glooming" their way to school, which, apart from not sounding very good, is physically impossible. The story quickly descends into a group of words that don't make any sense and are incredibly difficult to decipher.

Sometimes, people do just SAY things and they just OPEN stuff. But not always. People also yell, leap, peer, and flop. The key is balance.

And for the sake of literature, don't change tense! You also need to make sure the verb agrees with the subject! "The umbrella, while colourful, were still boring," is not right, and neither is "Jack and I am going to look for the Lost Moon of Poosh." They should be "The umbrella, while colourful, _was_ still boring," and "Jack and I _are_ going to look for the Lost Moon of Poosh."

Dialogue

You know that person who sits directly behind you in science class, and while they can be funny sometimes, they often just seem to like you too much, to the point that it gets annoying? Meet dialogue.

In real life, people talk. It's one of our main forms of communication. That doesn't mean people have to talk in a story. I have seen perfectly good stories that happen entirely in a character's head. A lot of _Coraline_ takes place in the main character's thoughts. So before you even write anything, consider if you really need much dialogue or any at all. I bet your answer is yes. And that's fine. But you have to be careful with what that characters are saying.

Conversations rarely go like this:

"Well, Connor, I reckon we have done our work here."

"Of course. What do you say to going to get some dinner, Travis."

"I think that would be wonderful. I do not want to spend too much, though"

No one talks like that. No one. And if they do, it's intentional. Because, like I've said before, people are really, really lazy. They don't say "reckon," unless they're Australian or something. People don't use names that often and they shorten everything. Don't, wanna, sucks, barbie, (rather than barbeque. Aussie slang.) If you're having trouble deciding whether or not a piece of dialogue is realistic, say it out loud. Does it sound stupid or unrealistic? Yes? Then don't use it. It's also okay to throw all grammar rules out the window when writing dialogue. People don't speak with proper grammar.

You can also write with an accent. If you have only one British character, or want to emphasize an accent, you can have them say "somefing," if you want. The same goes for any character who talks in a particularly different or specific way.

It's also very easy to get carried away and have your story entirely made up of dialogue. Never do this. It's annoying and confusing.

Now, something that drives me insane is when people don't format their dialogue the proper way. For example, every time their character says something with a little more emotion than usual, everything is written in capital letters. No. Caps lock is reserved for those moments in which someone flies into an explosive rage and is determined (for at least five seconds) that they have the right to blow up the moon.

_"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" says Percy, after he sees Annabeth hugging Atticus Finch_. **Wrong!**

"_WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" says Percy, after he sees Annabeth making out with Atticus Finch, who, apart from being forty, had killed Percy's dog earlier that day, burned down his apartment, spoiled Dumbledore's death, and robbed Percy's family of all their money and dignity._ **Right!** That is most definitely rage-worthy! It doesn't have to be_ that _extreme, but you get my point.

And now, how to write proper dialogue:

Press enter for a new line, Quotation mark, Talking, Comma, Quotation mark.

That's basically how you do it. There's way more to learn when you split up the dialogue, but it's mainly just a lot of commas. Example:

"Well, too bad. I'm going to learn to fly and there's nothing Clarisse can do to stop me," said Nico.

"What," said Mr Croup, "do you want?"

Finally, the last thing you want to watch out for is making the dialogue too clever. _My Sister's Keeper_ has this problem. It's a great book, but some of the things that people say are too witty, too intelligent, and altogether unlikely to ever happen.

Dialogue can push your story forwards, but it can just as easily stop your story in its tracks. And if you do it wrong, you will create the most unrealistic thing that anyone has ever read.

So, there you have it, general writing tips. The key to writing is balance. Too much of something is bad, but so is too little. Balance is part of the theory of power. (Reaction force, concentration, balance, breathing, mass, speed)So if you want your story to make and impact, you have to have everything in the right proportion.

Well, have fun with that. Being able to write really well can take a lot of practice, so don't be discouraged. And in between practicing, grow some garlic, listen to The Gorillaz, and don't forget to vote Saxon.

-Socks


	5. Presentation

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

**Presentation**

So, back to the whole "you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but you do anyway" thing. You may have done a perfect exterior, but if the inside of your story is a mess, people still won't read it. You have to make the actual text look nice.

I understand that fanfiction has the most ridiculous system ever when it comes to formatting. I'm still trying to work out exactly how I'm supposed to do some things. But that does not excuse you from spacing you story properly.

Rule 1- Paragraphs are you friend: And this time, it's a true friend. If your text is all stuck together in one big clump, it's going to be impossible to read. Whenever you have a new subject, or a new person speaking, or just whenever you feel it's necessary, press the Enter button and start a new paragrah.

Rule 2- Author's note in the middle of a story: To be honest, it looks really bad. The author's note takes the reader's mind off of the story and on to something else. If you really want to add something that badly, put * or (1) and mention it at the end.

Rule 3- Don't start a new line just anywhere: Do you know how annoying it is when a new line starts in the middle of a sentence? Yeah, don't do it. That should be obvious enough.

Rule 4- Be consistent: If you've decided to format your story a certain way, stick to that way. It doesn't make sense when you change it and can really throw a person off. Humans have simple minds that don't like change. You just have to deal with it.

So, when it comes to author's notes, I would generally recommend keeping it small. Unless you have a grand plan in which the notes become a part of the story, don't write too much. If you want to rant about something, the authors note is not the place to do it. You can mention simple things, but don't go on about how much want the Master to kill River Song in the next Doctor Who episode or something like that. Also, try not to bring too much of your personal life into it. That's what blogs are for. Your author's note should be written in italics or maybe bold, and there should be a page break before and after it. Just don't go on and on about everything you can think of.

Hopefully, you should be pretty good at writing in paragraphs. Unless you lied about your age when you signed up for fanfiction, you are at least thirteen and therefore have a more-than-basic understanding of the English language, assuming you're writing in English. Paragraph separation turns a rant into an actual story. You start a new paragraph every time a new person talks, or when the subject changes. If your character is saying more than one paragraph at a time, (like in a speech) finish the paragraph with no quotation marks, and start the next paragraph with quotation marks. Example:

"We're talking about huge things happening. _Massive_ things. You can't tell anyone about this or the universe might implode. Got that? You can't say anything. I don't care how much money they offer you. Nothing.

"Now, where's that place with the really good fries?"

If you want to see more examples of this, reread _King's Cross_ in the seventh Harry Potter book. Dumbledore talks pretty much the entire time, so there are lots of these speeches.

It's also a good idea to look over your chapter once it's uploaded. Otherwise you might find that you're starting a new paragraph in the middle of a sentence. This happens all the time in fanfictions and I have yet to figure out how people manage to do it.

_He flipped a switch and the _

_music came on, a soundtrack for the destruction of the planet._

How do you write like this? I don't understand. And I doubt I ever will.

When writing thoughts, or quotes within dialogue, or any sort of text that's out of the ordinary, we often see a mess of uncertainty. Usually, the solution is italics, but not always. So here's a quick little guide to help:

Thoughts: I would recommend putting thoughts in _italics._ It's pretty common. Just make sure you stick to this way.

Foreign Words: If it's an expression, (like "touché") don't bother with the italics. But if you're throwing a foreign word into your story and it's not commonly used in English, _italicize_ it. _Igel_, _étoile_, and _pera_, for example. Also, don't try to write in another language unless you know how to speak properly in that language. In _The Lost Hero_, the French is a total mess, with half the words spelt wrong and not a single bit of proper grammar.

Made Up Words:  Also in italics. This goes for words you made up, and words others made up. Like, _Judoon _and _flopple_.

Flashbacks: Don't write "Flashback" and then "End Flashback." Just put the entire part in italics and don't mention it's a flashback. The reader will have to figure that out. It adds intrigue.

Titles of Books/Movies, etc: Italics. What did you expect?

Quotes Within Dialogue: These should have single quotation marks around them, rather than double. "Then he said, 'wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey,' and ran away." They should be treated like regular dialogue when you're putting in commas.

If you're really, really confused about how you should format something, try to find and example of it in a book. These are real, published things that have been looked over by editors, and tend to be much more reliable than the internet (which seems to think that the Illuminati are behind everything.)

Something that seems to appear often is a point-of-view shift. In original fiction, this isn't used much. Then there are some books, like _My Sister's Keeper_, that are entirely based around the narrator changing. The key to having your story told from different points of view is _voice_. Listen to people talk around you. No one talks exactly the same way. You have to capture the voice of the character and write the way they talk and think. This becomes much more difficult when writing from a sociopath's (or psycho's) point of view, because you have to look at the world a totally different way. So, when shifting perspectives, here are some things to keep in mind:

Are details important to them, or the big picture?

How much does the character swear?

Does he/she/it have a word or phrase that they repeat a lot?

What's important to them?

Do they think things over before going through with a plan?

Are they introverted?

What you're aiming for is to have a huge difference in the way you write for each character. It's actually a very good exercise to practice writing skills. Pick a few characters (original or someone else's) and try writing 1000 words from their perspective. They should all be pretty different by the time you're done. Everyone sees the world differently.

Now, formatting a point-of-view change seems to be a large problem here on . Let's lay out a few rules. First, actually write a decent amount from each character's perspective. Don't write 150 words and then move on to another person. Stick with them for a while. Have something happen.

Second, if you can, I would recommend having one character per chapter. They don't have to be particularly long chapters, but this way is often easier to keep track of.

Third, if you decide to change the point of view in the middle of a chapter, underline the new narrator's name and put a page break in. It's easier to keep track of who's talking this way.

Fourth, I assume that if you have multiple perspectives, the story is being told in first person. So keep it in first person. Be consistent. Don't change to third person. That's just annoying.

So, as far as how your story looks, you want to go for consistency. Most animals change with their environment. Humans, however, barge right in and change the environment to fit them. And if they can't change it, (or there'd be too much effort involved) people leave. We like to have everything just how we expect it, and if it's not, we get annoyed. Then we leave. And that's why people won't like your story if it isn't consistent. It's also why we don't have colonies on the moon.

It also helps to consider what kind of story you're writing. If it's in a journal format, it's probably a good idea to have the date. If it's in a script format, you might want to find a script so that you can learn how they're written.

I'm sure you'll have lots of fun with this stuff... In the meantime, go listen to Karma Police. Seriously. It will help you write emotional stuff. Sing along if you can. And watch out for the Bad Wolf.

-Socks


	6. Think Before You Write

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

**Think Before You Write**

I'm sure you've done something really stupid before, and I'm also pretty sure that you probably didn't plan for it to happen. Or maybe you did. But the point remains: When you don't think ahead, you often end up looking really stupid. Unless you are like my friend, who plans stuff five minutes before it happens. People like her are very rare. I am not one of them.

Basically, you can't write a story without planning it. I say this as a generalization, because I know some people can. But most can't. If you dive into your story without a plan, it will most likely crash and burn magnificently.

What I tend to do is write the first chapter, and then plan the rest. I see what my writing will be like in this story (since it changes with the voice of the character) and decide what will and won't work. It can also give you a good idea of how you will be portraying your main character.

I also say you should plan ahead because if you don't, you will reach the climax of your story, only to realize there is no climax because you didn't plan one, and the other events don't really add up to anything significant. Then you end up using the God in the Machine technique, which works so rarely that it's not really worth the effort.

For those of you who don't know what the God in the Machine is, it's basically a ridiculously unlikely coincidence that sorts out all unsolved problems. You can do this, so long as you foreshadow it a decent amount or have a really, really, really good explanation. But then it's not really the God in the Machine anymore. The technique was pulled off in _Lord of the Flies,_ but that's a pretty exceptional book.

Another rule that you probably don't want to break, and is often broken due to lack of planning, is Chekhov's Gun. Chekov was a Russian playwright, who said that if there is a gun on the mantle place in the first scene, it will be fired by the end of the story. So, don't build false expectations. Nothing is more disappointing than tension building with an anticlimactic end.

Speaking of false expectations, create tension, and then blow it up. If there's a mystery, you want the solution to be as exciting as possible. If someone is finding out about their past, (_finally, after all these years!_) don't make it disappointing. Something big has to happen. And, more importantly than what's actually happening, the characters have to react. For example, in a recent episode of _Doctor Who,_ two characters found out that their best friend from when they were kids was actually their daughter (who got stolen and lost in time.) This was a huge event, seeing as their friend was a major character and because they _grew up with their daughter._ But their reaction was something like this:

"No way! That's crazy!"

…

And that was it. Then they moved on. No _"Oh-my-god-our-best-friend-is-actually-our-daughter-so-we-sort- of-got-to-raise-her-but-that's-not-fair-what-the-hell-is-this-I-want- to-sue-God-and-get-a-refund-on-life."_ Characters are people, too. They freak out when weird things happen. And weird things are what make a story.

So thinking before you write can evidently mean a few things. First, before you write anything, and after you plan, ask yourself, "Is this a stupid idea?" And really think about it. Does the story (when told in detail) seem really lame, now that you think about it? Do the characters really make any sense? Don't be afraid to say yes. You will have to edit, and sometimes it will be a large amount of editing. As a general rule: If it sounds like a bad story, it quite possibly is. But, that doesn't mean you should give up on it. Maybe all you need to do is fix a few plotholes. Or maybe you need to revise your main character. Or maybe you really do need to start over.

This is pretty much how I plan out a story:

_Idea comes to mind_. (Inspiration can be from anything. I've been inspired by a calculator falling off a desk. You could just have a random idea and then turn it into a story. Like, what if everyone died at a specific age, or Jack the Ripper returned?)

_Figure out the problem_. (Or, if you want to be all artsy, skip this step and write it totally based on character. Otherwise, consider what sort of problems could be caused by your concept. It could be anything from a corrupt government to a mutant living in a subway.)

_Decide plot/characters._ (Whether you come up with the plot or characters first is interchangeable. I often come up with both at the same time, seeing as one affects the other. Figure out what your character has to do with the problem, who their allies are, and what genre of story it's going to be. I'll write more on this in future chapters.)

_Choose the ending_. (You'll probably find that, once your plot and characters are established, the end of your story can go in several directions. Good, bad, neutral, and surprise are pretty much what you have to work with. And while everyone likes a happy ending, consider that sad ones might be more effective, in some cases. People may forgive you for a less-than-perfect start, but not for a bad ending.)

_Plan out each chapter._ (Figuring out what's going to happen in the beginning, middle, and end. This is often the hardest part. Plan out the little bits, exactly how the story is going to move from event to event. It can take a while. I spent almost a year planning out one story.)

_Go over the story several times._ (Check for any character issues, plotholes, or things that just don't make sense. Everything should be logical. Then, you're ready to start writing!)

Thinking before you write also means that you have to stay in character. If you're character is supposed to be really, really, stubborn, don't have them change their mind easily. When writing Percy, he should be pretty sarcastic, because that's how he's shown in the books. While you're writing, try to think like your character does, even if they're nothing like you. It is possible. I've done it.

And lastly, review etiquette. Even if you never write a story, you should still know how to review one properly. It's nice to get a review saying how much someone agrees with you and how much they love your story. It's really nice. But if you want to give suggestions, you have to know how to properly do that. What you want to do is sandwich the bad things between the good things. Write something you liked, something the author could improve on, and something else you liked. Avoid putting all negative things in, because it makes the person feel bad, and you look like a jerk.

It's probably a good idea use proper grammar too. No, it's mandatory, if you want people to take you seriously. You can't write, "UR sotry sux u cant rite so just sotp it ur dumm." People will take one look at it and laugh. I've received a few reviews like that, and it's pretty funny. But really, you shouldn't do it. It doesn't accomplish anything. So before you send in your review, read over it a couple of times. Is everything you wrote necessary? It's best to be honest in your review. But if you didn't like the story, try to suggest things that could help it rather than just say you didn't like it.

Maybe you've written something and you're really proud of it. It's the best thing you've ever created. Now stop. Think. Do you really want to put your masterpiece out there? Are you going to take less-than-positive reviews as a personal insult? Once you put anything you've done out for the world to see, it's going to get insulted. If you don't think you can handle people saying that they don't like what you've done, maybe writing isn't for you. Reviewers, whether they are professional, on fanfiction, or in the youtube comment section, are ruthless. They will destroy your work if they want to. You have to learn to accept that and not let it bring you down. If J.K. Rowling stopped trying the first time her story got rejected, it wouldn't even be published.

Of course, this only goes so far. If every single thing you do is shot down by a vast majority of negative reviews and responses, it's either time to completely change your writing style, or maybe find something else you enjoy doing.

This chapter was kind of all over the place. Sorry about that, but don't worry. The next one will be on a very specific topic. While you wait for that actual topic, watch _Across the Universe._ Then, listen to Cut/Copy and marvel at how they aren't from the 1980's.

-Socks


	7. The Plot

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague **_

**The Plot**

Oh look! We're actually talking about story! So let's get straight to work: There are pretty much two basic types of stories out there. Plot-based, and character-based. Most people here on fanfiction are in North America, and are therefore probably used to plot based stories. Generally, American stories are more plot focused, (like _Shutter Island_) and European stories tend to focus more around the characters' lives and thoughts (like _Amelie_.) Let's assume you're writing a plot-based story.

When you start writing, you should already know your plot. You should know its life story, know all its jokes, all its opinions, what's its birthday parties are like, and understand how it thinks. If not, you might make one section drag out way too much because you're not exactly sure how to flow into the next part.

Alright everyone, it's time to go back to the basics. Let's review the parts of a plot. Yes, I am talking about the same ones that you learned in grade two. The reason I'm doing this is because a surprising number of fanfiction writers do not seem to know them.

First, you have the **Initial Situation**. This is when you establish your main character and give a little bit of information about their life. Then you have the **Inciting Action**. This is something that kicks the plot in the butt and tells it to get moving. It can be something like a person being pushed out a window, or a person failing a test, or a person finding a pinwheel on the ground. Or a glass window disappearing, or a math teacher morphing into a demonic creature. You get the point. It could be anything. Next, there's the **Rising Actions**, which basically keep the plot moving forward and take up most of the story. Events happen. The character gets more confused, or the plot gets weirder, or everyone just moves towards their goal. People generally assume that the next step is the climax, but often it isn't. In lots of stories, there's the **Crash**, which is basically the point in which everything goes wrong for the character. They are feeling lonely, unloved, and pretty useless. This point can also happen in the midst of the rising actions, like when Ron left the search for the horcruxes. Now we arrive at the **Climax**. It's super intense! Everything is coming together! Quirrell has Voldemort on the back of his head! The climax happens right near the end of the story and is usually the point in which everything begins to make sense (or stops making sense) and you read twelve pages in three minutes because it's so intense. Finally, we end up at the **Resolution**. This is when all loose ends that you want to tie get tied. There's nothing wrong with leaving a bit of mystery – it can even make a story more interesting. But everything should be set more or less the way things are going to stay. If it's happy or sad is up to you, and you definitely don't have to fix everything. The goblins never got a good deal by the end of the Harry Potter books. The resolution just has to close things up.

When it comes to making up a plot, anything goes. Nothing is too wild. You can get away with lots of crazy twists and turns, and solutions that don't make much sense. If you get stuck at one point and can't think of what comes next, I would recommend going on a journey through Wikipedia. You never know what you'll be able to find there. It can often help to read some history, too. Yes, I am completely serious. Google a historic event or figure. Unsolved mysteries are the best. I've used both Jack the Ripper and Emily Brontë as elements in stories to help bring everything together.

And now I bring in the title of this guide: avoiding clichés like the plague. I have seen very few cases in which people use a ton of clichés, and still manage to write a captivating story. And to be honest, I've finished so many books and felt unsatisfied by their clichéd ending that I think these demonic events should be avoided all together. The term "overused cliché" is pretty redundant, considering that what makes a cliché a cliché is that it's been used to much.

Just don't include any clichés. Give it a lot of thought as to whether you are sticking one in your story. They make some plots unbearable. No forbidden love, no secret heir to the throne, no useless damsels in distress. A lot stories have at least one cliché, but be warned: if you don't make a point of trying to avoid them, you may find you've put several in one story without even realizing it.

So, moving away from clichés, you also have to make sure you actually _have_ a story. "What would happen if everyone died at a certain age?" is not a story. "Everyone dies at a certain age, and so a girl is kidnapped to get married to some guy she doesn't know. She tries to escape and make it back to her family, and almost dies in the process," is a story. If you start writing with just a simple idea, you'll quickly find that your story is going absolutely nowhere, kind of like it's on a treadmill. You'll go over the same ideas over and over again. It's a bit like Jersey Shore. But (hopefully) with less obnoxious characters.

Unsatisfying endings are annoying, and often these endings are caused by plotholes, which people do not appreciate in any form. What exactly is a plothole? Basically it's a part of a story that doesn't make sense. With lots of careful revision and thought, they can be avoided. However, plotholes still crop up in the best of stories.

For example:

Percy and some OC are running along, when suddenly there's a giant hole in the middle of the road, too far to jump across. But it just so happens that the OC (who was unclaimed) suddenly turns out to be a son of Zeus! They fly across and they're saved!

Aside from the perfect timing on Zeus's part, this example has a major plothole: there's a hole in the ground. Use your legs, walk around it. Plotholes often appear when an author tries to make an event more dramatic, when really, the problem could have been solved in 10 seconds. Like in the Doctor Who episode _The Sound of the Drums_ (which is a great episode anyway), the Doctor finds a machine that enables paradoxes and says that they can't destroy it until they know what it does, because that could blow up the universe if they disable it the wrong way. In the next episode, it gets destroyed with a machine gun. I think that counts as "disabling it the wrong way." However, the Doctor finding the machine and not destroying it, causes the next episode to happen.

Another example is in _Breaking Dawn_. Bella's just lost half the blood in her body, and now Edward is biting her wrists and such, and she's bleeding like crazy. But, hey! Vampire spit can heal cuts! How convenient is that? (Too convenient.) This ability is mentioned in two consecutive sentences and then never again. Plothole. There are thousands of other ways to create plotholes, but they usually end up with ridiculous solutions, or just go unnoticed.

I could easily go on and on about plots I don't like, but I won't. There'll be more on plots to avoid in future chapters. Just make sure your story makes sense before putting it out there. You don't want to get to the end and then find that the entire thing is based on a gaping plothole. Whether you choose to design characters or plot first, or both at the same time, is interchangeable, since one usually depends on the other. So let your imagination run wild and come up with the weirdest story possible. As Neil Gaiman (and countless others) showed us, the strangest stories can often be the best.

And while you go crazy, listen to the sound of the drums and read the lyrics to _Champagne Supernova._

-Socks


	8. Characters

**_Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague _**

**Characters**

The sections I've done so far cover subjects that appear in all sorts of fanfictions, and often in original fiction. But this chapter is very specifically about Percy Jackson fanfictions. This section is about writing the characters properly.

You can write a story entirely based on characters alone. These types of stories often appear European movies, like _Amélie_, and focus around the characters lives more than the plot. But they can be tricky to write. Your character has to have an interesting enough life and personality for this to work. Before you attempt a character based-story, be sure to watch a few movies in the style first.

Out of Character-ness (ooc) is, as far as I'm concerned, the bane of all fanfiction. Before you can say "but it's _my_ story! I can write it how I want!" (I've had reviews that say that,) keep in mind that the characters are not yours. They are Rick Riordan's. And so if you write Annabeth as a girly slacker who flirts with all the boys, you are not writing Annabeth. Staying in character is what makes a character who they are and gives them a personality. If they are shy, don't let them have sudden bursts of confidence very often. Normally, you can choose how your character will act, because you created them. But these characters are pre-set. They already have specific personalities.

So, I've decided make a list of the main characters and put in some do's and don't's for when you write about them. These people aren't always the main focus of the stories, but often their appearances in fanfiction don't do them justice. In order of popularity:

Percy Jackson

Percy is a teenage boy. He's pretty oblivious to the world around him, and is really bad at focusing on one thing for a long time. He has a humorous outlook to the world, is very sarcastic, and (let's face it) really stupid sometimes. I don't know anyone who can get hubris and humus confused. So, he should miss things that are obvious to other people.

While Percy is pretty dumb, he's still a nice person. Well, he _tries_ to be a nice person. He's not bossy, or passive, he cares when people get hurt, he isn't abusive, and he doesn't put up with people's crap. Oh, and he doesn't go looking for fights. But speaking of fights, he isn't exactly innocent, so don't write him as some ADHD angel coming down from Heaven, because he isn't. Nor does he have an intense six-pack or anything, as far as we know. He's supposed to be mildly good looking.

Now, something I really think needs to be addressed is the whole "Seaweed Brain" and "Wise Girl" thing. Let me ask you: _how often do they actually use those names?_ The truth is, not very often at all. Annabeth uses Seaweed Brain as an affectionate term occasionally, but she doesn't say it every time she talks to Percy. As for Percy calling Annabeth Wise Girl, I'm pretty sure he uses it once or twice in the first book and then never again. Got that? _Never again._ It's a pathetic nickname, and Percy seems to notice this, because he always just calls her Annabeth. No nicknames.

Annabeth Chase

Annabeth is a teenage tomboy. We don't actually know her age in relation to Percy, just that they're "about the same age," so it's probably okay to have a year apart. She's assertive to the point of being aggressive, and very intelligent and resourceful, but highly irrational. She fears failure, is really stubborn, lets her emotions rule her, and obvious has issues with pride. While Percy describes her as beautiful, she doesn't really put much effort into her looks.

I find that Annabeth is quite possibly the most miswritten character in this fandom. She doesn't rule camp half-blood, she doesn't cry at everything, she isn't a skank, nor is she romantic, useless, or a damsel in distress. She tries very hard not to depend on anyone, but sometimes she does. People often over interpret this and have her rely on Percy for absolutely everything. Annabeth tries very hard to not let to let anything sway her opinion, but Luke and Percy seem to be her weak spots.

Nico DiAngelo

Nico is a twelve-year-old boy with a messed up life. His human parent is dead, as is his sister, and Hades couldn't care less about him. He's quiet, has a pretty average intelligence, and, although he acts tough, is still a kid who wants everything to go back to how it was before. He makes some pretty dark comments, but has good intentions, and is also pathetically naïve and gullible.

So no, Nico is not emo, goth, a metalhead, sexy, or anything that falls into that category. Yes, I get that he is described to be "paler than before," when Percy meets him in The Battle of the Labyrinth, but that doesn't make him super pale. Seeing as he is just beginning to let go of his old life, I highly doubt Nico would be particularly interested in girls. Also, he's twelve.

Thalia Grace

Thalia hasn't exactly had a stable life, so she isn't the most stable person. She's a bit like Percy, but with more of a temper. But, since joining the hunters, she's become a little more reasonable. Thalia's also pretty secretive, considering she had only two friends and told neither about her brother.

She isn't emo, goth, a metalhead, or sexy either. I guess you could say she's more of a punk girl, but if her favourite band is Green Day, rather than The Ramones or something, it's pushing it a bit. The thing is, Thalia is unlikely to fall in love with anyone. Also, to join the hunters you have to be a virgin, so all you people writing stories about Thalia and Luke getting it on can stop right now. Luke may have been fourteen, but Thalia was twelve, and they were on the run from freaking Greek monsters and looking after a seven-year-old. I'd consider that too busy to build any kind of sexual relationship.

Luke Castellan

We don't ever find out much on what Luke's really like, but we know he's very inconsistent. He can't make up his mind, and when he does, he regrets it. Still, he doesn't dive into a situation until he thinks it through. He had a pretty crappy childhood, so it's fair for him to blame it on Hermes and call him a bad parent. That's what most people would do. But he does try to do what he thinks is right.

Now, let's go over something. Luke is not a bad person. Yes, he willingly fought alongside the titans, killed people, and showed a few sociopathic tendencies. He was being manipulated, and, as we saw several times, he really did care for some people (like Annabeth.) So, what does this mean? When asking for Annabeth's help, it is highly unlikely that he would hit her. He also shows respect for many people, so he wouldn't rape Thalia either. Also, any relationship between a guy who's nineteen and a girl who's twelve can easily be considered pedophilia. Luke tries to be a good person, he really does. He's just not very good at it.

Rachel Dare

Rachel Elizabeth Dare is, by far, the most hated character in the series. But before you're all like, "She tried to screw up Percabeth, so she can go burn in Hellllllll!" let's actually take a look at her character.

Rachel is a teenage girl. She's resourceful, determined to stay loyal to what she cares about, a little spontaneous, and very, very blunt. Outgoing, critical, and artistic, she's not someone you want to mess with, as she demonstrated with her hairbrush.

Once you look at those traits, you should probably realize that when she likes someone, she's going to tell them. Her confidence level is a lot higher than Annabeth, (who's self esteem was damaged by Luke leaving) but this does not make her a terrible person. It actually makes her a very strong person. So don't write her as a spoiled brat who hogs boys, because she most definitely is not.

Grover Underwood

Grover hardly gets any stories to himself, and usually when he appears in fanfictions, it's pretty brief. However, people on fanfiction have a gift for being able to screw several characters up without even having them say two sentences.

Grover is a shy and insecure nervous wreck. He takes everything to the heart and beats himself up a lot. He isn't cool in the regular way, and lots of people probably abandon him because of that. So, don't have him be gansta. He isn't. The movie lied.

I had this idea where I was going to write about Tyson, too. But then I realized that I would never be able to write about him in an unbiased way. So, no, I haven't forgotten about him. He just doesn't show up much in fanfiction and I don't think I'd be able to write about him without making him sound stupid. I didn't forget about Clarisse either, but I haven't read enough fanfictions with her to judge what people are doing wrong. Plus, the ones that did involve her weren't too bad, just a little more romantic than they should have been. And no, I'm not doing Jason, Piper, or Leo. I haven't read many with them either, plus I'd be horribly biased against Jason and Piper.

Now, I'd like to remind you that Percy and Annabeth are not the only characters in the Percy Jackson world. Yes, they are the main characters, but that doesn't mean that you should only write about them. I understand that they can be easier to write about, but other characters are interesting to write about, too. Note how few stories there are about Lee Fletcher, Michael Yew, Nyssa, Jake Mason, and oh I don't know… about twenty others. I mean, come on. Michael is such a great character and he only gets eleven stories.

Basically, characters are just people in another world. Unless they are completely insane (like the Master) they have to be written with some degree of consistency. People assume that kids with ADHD are completely insane and therefore they can write their fanfiction with these characters acting however they want. But it's not like that in real life. Humans have personalities, so make sure you stay in character. It's almost like acting, but with less pressure, since you can always go over it again. Try to think like the character. This can be very hard at times, but it's really helpful.

So now I encourage you to look through any stories you have written and make sure that the people in the story stay in character. While you do that, you can listen to Franz Ferdinand and always make sure to carry a vortex manipulator.

-Socks


	9. The Dreaded Mary Sue

**_Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague _**

**The Dreaded Mary-Sue**

Well, numerous people requested this chapter, and I had already planned to do it, so the topic was pretty much unavoidable. Close your eyes in shame as I present to you the one, the only, Mary-Sue.

If you aren't familiar with fiction terms, you may be confused about what exactly a "Mary-Sue" is. Basically, a Mary-Sue is a really bad character. She or he may be ridiculously talented, a perfected version of the author, highly unbelievable and unlikely, or so lovely that they're just obnoxious. For example, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, Piper McLean, River Song, and Bella Swan. Ginny Weasley is pretty close, saved only by her horrible temper.

Mary-Sues, while obvious to those reading the story, are often hard to spot in your own story. You may think, "this character is so nice! Everyone will love her/him! Look at all the drama he/she goes through. It's so epic!" when in reality, your character is as flat as Saskatchewan. Very flat indeed.

If your story has a Mary-Sue for the main character, it's as good as dead. I mean, sure, Twilight got published. But it was rejected fourteen times and look at how much hate it's received. When your story focuses around a Mary-Sue, it's boring. Or, in some extreme cases, it's like being boiled in a pot of acid. The character is nice to everyone, but stands up for themself. They are very unique looking and beautiful. They are either an outsider, or everyone loves them. In a Percy Jackson story, they are usually a child of the Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, or maybe Artemis. It is also quite possible that the character will have some sort of tragic or angst-y past.

Quick note on Artemis: She does not have children. I'm sorry, but you can't argue. That's just how it is.

Back to the Sues. Many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many of the original characters here on fanfiction are Mary-Sues. These lovely and beautiful characters crop up all over the place. The problem is that they aren't believable. They do things that can't be done. And they are all oh, so similar. You know what? The best way to describe a Mary-Sue is through and example. So, here you go:

Name: Violet Emerald Nightingale (Nickname: Letti)

Age: Fifteen

Godly Parent: Poseidon

Mortal Parent: Elizabeth Nightingale (deceased)

Weapon: twin swords that turn into earrings.

Hair: Long, straight, black, natural blood red streaks, all the way down her back.

Eyes: Blue-ish, green-ish, purple-ish. They change, depending on her mood.

Body Type/Skin: Pale, slender but strong, 5 foot five, 100 lbs.

Tattoos/Piercings/Scars: Scars all over her arms, nose piercing.

History: Lived with her mom and abusive stepfather. Home was attacked by monsters when she was eight. Mother was killed. Had been living on the streets until she came to camp, when she was twelve. The scars on her arms are from monsters and her emo phase. Doesn't have many friends.

Personality: People think she's a loner, but she's just a little nervous. She's nice to everyone, but stands up for herself and others.

Likes: Swimming, listening to music, playing music, drawing, reading, doing gymnastics, laughing, fighting, Percy, Nico, Silena, Luke.

Dislikes: Annabeth, Rachel, mean people, mainstream music, stupid people, girly things.

Summer or year round: Stays at camp year round.

Dress: Summer – Black combat boots, ripped jean shorts, tank top with corset-ish lacing on the back. Winter – Blue Docs, ripped jeans with green tights underneath, off-the-shoulders red Nirvana top, leather jacket.

Fatal Flaw: Doesn't trust people.

Romantic Interest: She really likes Luke, but she doesn't know if he likes her.

Oh, kill me now. Even writing that made me weep. Let's go over what wrong with dear Violet, shall we? First, there's her name. It's a beautiful name, isn't it? Yeah, that's the problem. It's like naming your child Melody Pond. Sickly sweet. She's also a child of Poseidon, meaning she's already special. She lives at camp year round because of her horrible past. You can tell that Luke is going to help her recover and fall in love, despite the fact that he is probably eight years older than her and, you know, _dead_. The way she looks is pretty much impossible, seeing as nobody has natural blood red streaks in their hair. She's a hipster, but this was not done intentionally. It's also unclear how she managed to find time to do gymnastics in her crappy life. I would like to point out that not everyone is skinny, but Mary-Sues always are. Plus, it's near impossible to be a gymnast, good at fighting, strong, five foot five, and weigh only 100 lbs. Because, in order to be all of those things, (with the exception of the height) you need a lot of muscle. And muscle weighs more than fat. 120 lbs would be more accurate.

Now, maybe you know someone who fits a lot of the Mary-Sue traits, but they're a real person. Well, I know plenty of people like that. They key rule is that _a Good Person does not equal Good Character_. Some people are pretty unique and remarkable, and while this probably makes them a very interesting person to know, they would not be a believable character. There are people out there who really do carry anvils around in their backpacks, (I know one) but those are the kinds of people who would make terrible characters.

So how do you avoid a Mary-Sue? Use your brain. Look at your character from a reader's eyes. Do they seem exceptionally wonderful? It's all up to your judgment.

However, there is one thing that I know can be very useful. There is a test that helps you determine whether or not your character is a Mary-Sue. As it states, it's not always accurate. But it can certainly help you figure out what you need to change.

.

According to this test, Violet Emerald Nightingale received 110 points (71 is the highest the chart goes) and was ranked as an Irredeemable-Sue. It would be a terrible idea to put her in a story.

Mary-Sues cause many problems. The story usually becomes really stupid. You may not understand because in your eyes, the character is perfect. And that's the problem. Also, the presence of a Sue can change the way people think about your story. If you include the death of a Mary-Sue, readers are likely to not care, or even cheer on their death, which is probably not what you intended for.

Now that you can be super critical of every character you read about, I suggest you don't let this power go to your head. No story is completely Sue-Free. Just listen to Pink Floyd (in case you haven't discovered them yet) and be careful to not be exterminated.

-Socks

P.S. I would like to thanks _Daughter of Hypnos _and _Sgt. Sporky_, who have stuck with me this far and reviewed pretty much all of the chapters.


	10. Original Characters

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

**Original Characters**

Making up your own characters seems to be a huge part of fanfiction, especially in Percy Jackson, because there are so many opportunities to add your own character. However, inserting someone into a pre-made world can cause many problems. New characters have a good possibility of ending up as a Mary-Sue, making all the actual characters act differently, becoming a mouthpiece for your opinion, or just being really, really boring. I went over a lot of problems with original characters (Ocs) in the last chapter, so this one won't be super long.

When creating original characters, think of them as real people. People who have actual thoughts, emotions, and lives. You have to care about them, otherwise it will be very hard to make them seem realistic in your story. In fact, you don't even have to like them, just have some sort of emotional attachment. It could be that you can't stand the sight of this character.

If you've made up multiple characters, there's probably at least one who's past is a big mystery. You know, like Jason Grace, Shadow the Hedgehog, and countless others. This actually has to have something to do with the story or play a big part in the character's life. Maybe they have a really good reason for not remembering or telling anyone about their past. But if you leave this detail hanging with no reason whatsoever for it being there, you've just created a very pointless and obnoxious character. Mystery is good. But not too much.

Considering this is the Percy Jackson fandom, it's pretty likely that your character is a demigod, meaning they have some sort of weapon that they like to use to defend themselves and train. Make sure it's appropriate to who their parent is. In other words, don't give one of Apollo's kids a sword. He's the god of archery. People also have a tendency to think that the weapon _must_ have a small version, for example, a pen. This is not at all the case. The vast majority of the weapons are just weapons, nothing more.

While naming your character, you take a lot into consideration. You might want to use a name that hints at their personality, or maybe a really beautiful name. However, if you do either of these things, it can be turn out to be just plain stupid. It's like_ Connor Stoll_. _Con_nor _Stole_. Well. I wonder what he's going to be like. Giving your character an exceptional name can make them seem more Mary-Sue like, which is exactly what you don't want. I often find the best names are the ones that don't give anything away, like Kayla Blondeau, Martha Jones, and Richard Mayhew. Completely normal names that don't hint at anything.

Character clichés can be pretty disastrous. The supposedly emo guy with a soft heart, the rebel girl, the "strong, silent type," they appear in so many stories. But if you don't give them more depth than that, they can be horrible. Even if you do, they have to be in a pretty unusual story, seeing as you're using such generic bases. And if you do use these general figures, for the love of whatever, don't make them stereotypes. I'm not going to lie. It will kill your story.

Speaking of stereotypes, I'd like to address a huge problem that everyone overlooks. Maybe people think it's a taboo, or a really touchy subject. Too bad. I'm going to talk about it: Obligatory gay and black characters. It goes something like this: You've created the base for your story. You've got the characters, the plot, everything. Then you realize that you don't have any gay or black characters in your story. Oh, no! People might think you're racist and homophobic! They might think you're part of the KKK or something! So you quickly insert a gay character and a black character. Problem solved, right? Wrong.

First of all, unless you are outright say something like insert generic racist or homophobic insult here, youtube's a good place to find them, no one's going to accuse you of being part of the KKK. Also, when you add in a character after the initial story has been created, they seem very out of place. And if this is the only black (or Asian, or Indian, or whatever) character, it's going to be very obvious that you are attempting to not seem racist.

As for the gay characters, keep in mind that approximately 10% of the population is queer, and not all of them have come out about it. So having a queer character isn't necessary. You hear me? You don't _have_ to do it. Plus, when there's a gay character, all their problems usually end up focusing on the fact that they're gay. This is not how it is in real life. It sounds like a stupid bit of advice, but remember, they're queer PEOPLE not QUEER people. (I use the term "queer" because it includes all who are not heterosexual.) Their lives don't revolve around the fact that they aren't hetero, so stop making it like that.

In fact, I've only ever seen three stories pull off having a queer character where it wasn't the whole focus. This first is_ Harry Potter_, in which we read about Dumbledore for ten years without knowing he was gay. The next is _Going Bovine_, by Libba Bray, in which it's just a side note on a couple of characters. And the last is _The Higher You Fly_, by Miranda Dixon-Luinenburg, where one character is mentioned to be gay, and then it never comes up ever again, and really doesn't have much to do with the plot. Oh, and I guess Doctor Who also succeeds in this category.

Now, although it is not _necessary_ to include a gay or black character, it's a good idea to have some. Because gay and black people do in fact exist, and need to be represented in writing. Unless your story takes place in, say, Nazi Germany, there is a very good chance that your setting would, in reality, have black and openly gay characters. But my point is, don't make these characters stand out. They should be a part of your story, not an extra bit hanging of the side. Treat them the way you treat any other characters, don't make them seem awkward and out of place. Include them in your original cast. Okay, end of rant.

Basing a character off of someone you know can be tricky, too. Often, they end up totally off base and unbelievable. Or maybe they're really cool in real life, but they don't transfer into the Percy Jackson world, or any story, very well. Not to say that it can't be done. After all, J.K. Rowling based Gilderoy Lockhart on her ex-husband, and he turned out to be a great character.

As for children of the Big Three, I would recommend keeping them to a minimum. They tend to be even more Mary-Sueish than others. Or you could always kill them off partway through the story. That's always fun.

Making your own character is pretty open ended, considering they can literally be anything you want. Just keep in mind that you have to be able to make the reader care about them for it to be worth the effort that goes into their creation. Also, many people are not very open-minded to Ocs, so even if you make a fantastic character, it may be tough to have them accepted. And now, as you determine whether or not this lovely character of yours is actually worth sticking in a story, listen to Hollerado, visit their website, (it was made with markers and paper) and don't blink.

-Socks


	11. Setting and Character Deaths

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

**Setting and Character Deaths**

This is one topic that I feel should be pretty obvious. I mean, come on, how badly can you screw the time and place of your story? Especially when it's modern day New York? Well, apparently you can screw it up pretty badly.

Generally, the stories you find in this fandom take place from 1995-2009, in New York City or on the Long Island Sound (which is still part of New York.) Yes, I'll have you know that through critical analysis, I determined that the Son of Neptune takes place in 2009, not 2011 as so many people think. Look at the timeline yourself. It makes perfect sense. So what does this mean? It means that you can't have people talking about the earthquake that happened in March.

As I had mentioned, lots of the stories here take place in New York City, and Percy lives in Manhattan. Now, I don't live in Manhattan, but I can tell you this much: Nobody owns a house there. People rent apartments. That's where they live for their entire lives. The whole island (and it's not very big) is covered in skyscrapers, with the exception of Central Park. No, Percy didn't live in an apartment because they didn't have much money. People who are well-off, people who are more than well-off, people who are struggling financially, they all live in apartments. And seeing as how Percy's current building isn't too far from Central Park, I'd say they're doing fine with money. Owning a house in Manhattan has got to be nearly impossible, if at all. It's probably a bit like teaching a penguin to recite Shakespeare. Real estate is crazy there. Actually, I invite you to go to Google maps right now, go to street view anywhere in Manhattan, and look up. What do you see? High rises. There's no room for houses.

People also seem to have a lot of trouble describing the setting. There appear to be two types of writers: The first, who doesn't describe the setting at all and leaves you guessing as to how the character ended up in a house rather than the park, and since when was there a closet in that hallway? And the second kind, who put so much (often repeated) description in that you actually lose track of what's going on in the story. It's the same as what I said about character description. Balance is the key to success. It also helps if you know something about the place in which your story takes place.

Oh, and for the record, Percy does say in _The Last Olympian _that it's against the rules for two campers to be in the same cabin by themselves. Reread the book if you don't believe me. So enough with the stories in which Annabeth gets pregnant at camp. Actually, enough with those pregnant stories in general.

This chapter was originally supposed to be about setting, but I feel like I need to go over character deaths. People often get too attached to their characters to kill them off, but sometimes it must be done to make the story better. So, try not to fall in love with your characters. You can have feelings about them, (this helps you write them more realistically) but don't grow so fond that you can't let go. People die. It happens.

As it turns out, writing about a character dying is really, really hard. Describing the death in too much detail creates a really gruesome or sappy description. For example, _The Hunger Games_ has really violent and disturbing deaths. And I have read countless attempts at dramatic deaths that turn out being ridiculous and funny. Now, if you happen to write something really beautiful in a death scene, don't throw it away. Get someone else to read it. You never know if it's good until people give their honest opinions. And if someone thinks it's great, by all means put it in.

Now I'd like to use an example from Harry Potter:

"And then with a little shudder the elf became quite still, and his eyes were nothing more that great, glassy orbs sprinkled with light from stars they could not see."

-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, page 385

Well, I don't know if anyone else did, but I cried during that bit. And when I reread it, I still choke up a bit. Then again, I am part of the Harry Potter generation. Lots of people said that Dobby's death made them bawl their eyes out, so I think we should go over what makes it so effective. Oh dear lord, I sound like an English teacher.

There are three things that really make this part so great. The first is the writing. The second is the build up. And the third is the character.

So, the writing. It's descriptive, but not too gruesome or blunt. The whole thing really gives the impression of just how gone Dobby is. I won't go into any more detail or this will sound like English class.

As a re-cap, (for those who haven't read the book in years or never did) Harry, Ron, and Hermione had just been captured and brought to the Malfoy's Manor. They'd been tortured, locked up, watched a man die, and were generally pretty desperate. Bellatrix called for Voldemort to come kill them, but Dobby helped the others escape. They disapparate and end up at a safe house. But Bellatrix had thrown her knife, which hit Dobby in the chest. That's where you came in. As you can see, this happened at the end of a really epic battle in which Dobby did a lot of saving, and was pretty spectacular. Also, he had just been stuck in his old abusive masters' house, so it was pretty brave.

And of course, the character. This was the sixth Harry Potter book that Dobby had been in, so he was a pretty important character. He was often described like a child, innocent and loving, but very strong. Dobby put all his effort into helping Harry, although his plans never quite worked out. By the end, most people couldn't help but love him, so his death was a pretty big blow. If you want people to feel anything when a character dies, be it sadness or triumph, you have to make the character seem real. People have to have an opinion about them for it to make a difference. They have to care whether or not the character is alive. Which brings us back to the last chapter, writing original characters. And if you are killing off a character from the original books, you have to write them how they were in the books, or else it won't feel like that character is really dying.

Now off you go, look at the world around you, and at people dying. Crash a wedding, or funeral, or something. And be excited for the next chapter. It's on a topic that everyone seems to be requesting. As you wait for it to come out, go look up Porcupine Tree, buy some white clothes to tie-dye, and regenerate when the Doctor tells you to.

-Socks


	12. Romance

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

**Romance**

I'm not going to lie. This chapter is going to be biased, because I hate romance stories. No, you don't understand. If the back of a book so much as hints at romance, and it hasn't been recommended to me, I put it right back on the shelf. It's even worse when there's no warning, and you're reading about a girl who found her dead sister's diary, and then BAM! Suddenly she falls in love with her best (and only) friend. I despise stories where that happens. Ahem, anyway.

I'll get straight to the point. About half of the stories in Percy Jackson fanfiction are labeled as the genre "romance." This is also where most of the bad stories seem to appear. People get together with no reason, or build up, and absolutely no chemistry. Annabeth gets pregnant and weeps into Percy's muscular arms (kill me now.) Everyone with a boyfriend or girlfriend, regardless of age and personality. It's awful.

Let's start with different kinds of pairings. The way I see it, there are three main types of pairings: Canon, fanon, and crack. I'll start with canon.

Canon is basically whatever the author says. If they wrote it (or said it) then it is true. After all, it's _their _story. Canon is un-debatable (usually,) unarguable, and for sure. It's a fact. My computer operating system is Windows XP. So there. It doesn't matter what you say, you can't prove this to be false. So, a canon pairing is obviously a couple that the author included in the original story. For example, Percy/Annabeth, Chris/Clarisse, and Grover/Juniper.

Fanon, despite being one letter away from canon, is very different indeed. While canon facts are undeniably true, fanon is completely up for debate. When something is fanon, it's a fact that was not in the original story, but is generally accepted by the fans. There always remain some people who really don't agree with fanon. Fanon pairings are often used as if they were canon, but are not. Like, Nico/Thalia, Travis/Katie, (if anyone feels like explaining that one to me, go ahead) and Luke/Thalia.

A crack pairing, as the name suggests, is a pairing created by someone who appears to be consuming liberal amounts of crack. Acknowledging that, you can probably determine that crack pairings don't really make much sense. They are not commonly accepted by the fans, probably because they don't work and should generally be avoided. If you can create a couple that is logical but isn't fanon or canon, that's fine, too. Just make sure that they actually seem fine together, unlike Drew/Demeter, Michael/Piper, and Tyson/Annabeth.

Also, incest is never good, so keep Connor and Travis far away from each other, please. It causes all sorts of problems.

None of us are Lady Gaga – unless you are, in which case, hello, I'm flattered you're reading this – so you can kindly keep your bad romance to yourself. What exactly makes a bad romance story? Well, one problem is self-insertion. Whoever your main character is "falling in love" with is an awful lot like someone you'd fall in love with. The main character therefore becomes an awful lot like you, and before you know it, you've got two Mary-Sues on your hands.

If you're going to call what you're writing a romance story, it actually has to have some romance. No, I'm not talking about infatuation, which is when a person seems totally perfect in your eyes and you're completely obsessed with them. You could always use that for a thriller story, but if it's labeled as "romance" on fanfiction, you can tell it's not going to happen. More on that, making out constantly and having sex all the time isn't romance either. Love is not based off of stuff like that. You _love_ someone for their personality. What I just described is called _lust,_ and it's entirely focused around physical attraction. If you look at the M rated stories, you will find that several are supposed to be romance, but are in fact just two characters having sex in all the ways the author can think. _This is not romance! This is lust! Learn to tell the difference!_

I've read lots of stories where Percy and Annabeth get married, and have kids, and live their lives with no kinks in their relationship ever. One of those stories was actually worth reading, because it was done by a good author with a great sense of humour. The other fifty or so stories were all crap. Although it should be obvious enough from life experience, fanfiction writers ignore the fact that people do not marry their first boyfriend/girlfriend. And if they do (because they haven't had a relationship until they're eighteen) they get divorced pretty quickly. Out of all the people I know, there's only one couple who have been together since high school and kept a stable relationship. So keep that in mind.

I feel like I should defend my hatred for romance, because a lot of people think I'm crazy for it. Let me explain: I'm not a mushy, cutie person. The first "romance" that I ever read was Twilight, so maybe that's what put me off it. Or maybe not. I find that characters falling in love often take away from the actual plot. For the record, two characters who meet and fall in love is not actually a plot. It's a subplot. You have to have a proper story going on, too. Like, a volcanic creature trying to destroy the world, and the only known way to stop means using up all the aquifers in the USA. In the meantime, two characters get together. However, writers often overpower the main plot with a romance story. I find the whole thing clichéd and boring, not just in fanfictions, but in the whole Teen Section of Chapters. And it's always so, so predictable. Even when one of the two lovers dies at the end, I still find myself having read a book in which the main character obsesses over the other for three hundred pages. Bleh.

So, back to my point about romance being a subplot. In Harry Potter, there's romance. It's not the main focus, but it still happens. The characters are still themselves when they're in relationships, and it's not all they think about. I've read so many books where the main character becomes a sappy, cringe-worthy, cliché-saying, lovey-dovey machine when they fall in love, and my reaction is always, "I thought you hated this guy! I thought you wanted to focus your life on becoming a doctor! I thought you were independent!" But alas, no, the character looks deep into their partner's mesmerizing eyes and confesses their true love, despite the fact that they've only been together for two weeks. This problem only increases in fanfictions, because the characters are often void of any kind of chemistry, and because this so-called love is confessed at ridiculous times. You know, like at the bottom of a lake, or during a game of capture the flag, or they have an epiphany in a life-threatening situation about their one true love. Actually, I invite you all to go watch the music video for "One Less Lonely Girl," (with the sound off) to see a great example of how romance _doesn't_ work.

In reality, love is a thing that grows gradually over time. You can see this in fiction with Ron and Hermione, or the Doctor and Rose. You can also see it in real life with people who have been together for a long time. As always, there are exceptions, (my old English teacher got engaged after three weeks of knowing a guy, then married him eleven months later) but these are _exceptions_. The chances of anyone falling in love so quickly or finding "true love" at the age of sixteen are incredibly low. It's really uncommon and will make your story unrealistic.

The unfortunate thing is that people here on fanfiction want romance so badly that they write reviews praising really awful love stories. It's like they've never touched a decent book before. Readers seem to think that anything with kissing is romance, (which is entirely untrue) and anything without romance is crap. _Lies!_ Have you not read To Kill a Mockingbird? Adding romance is often what destroys an otherwise perfectly fine story. Of course, that's not to say that it can't improve a story. But more often I've seen it be a cause of bad writing, cheesy lines, unrealistic relationships, and obnoxious characters.

Now, specifically on romance in the Percy Jackson fandom: note that the books were written for eleven-year-olds. The characters were not designed to be part of an intense romantic drama. Forcing this to happen will most likely end in disaster. I've said this before and I'll say it again, Percy and Annabeth are not the only two characters in the series. Did you know that about a quarter of the stories here are about Percy and Annabeth? And most of them are labeled as romance.

When you create a pairing, you have to consider who the characters are. Think about whether or not they would actually get along. Falling in love is like having a best friend that you're super close to. If the two could never work together, you probably shouldn't be writing romance with them. Don't make a story about Clarisse and Grover– you know it would never happen.

You know what the safest way to avoid writing a terrible romance is? Not writing it at all. Just write a story where no one falls in love and you're good to go. And if you do insist on ignoring this piece of advice, make sure that the relationship is realistic. Also, keep in mind that the most interesting stories are often the ones where things don't go according to plan. There can be romance whether or not the two end up together. Woody Allen's made lots of movies like that. Now go listen to the soundtrack from Amélie, watch _Midnight in Paris_, keep searching for your Mummy, and have a happy new year.

-Socks


	13. Truth or Dare and Reading the Books

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

**Truth or Dare and Characters Reading the Books**

The next couple chapters are going to be a bit different. They're going to focus on generic "stories" that appear way too much, and I'm going to go over what's wrong with each of the examples. In this section, it's going to be Truth or Dare stories, and stories where the characters just sit around reading the Percy Jackson books. Hopefully once you've read this, you'll kindly refrain from writing about either of these topics.

So, truth or dare? In these stories (often with creative names like "Truth or Dare") the answer is almost always dare, because honestly, there aren't that many interesting truths. But it's never normal things, like eating some pine needles, or wearing socks as earmuffs. No, the characters have to go up to Dionysus and tell him they love him. Oh, how original.

I'll get to the point: truth or dare stories are just random compilations of characters doing stupid things that aren't even very funny. I have yet to read one that actually entertained me or that was in any way good.

At least one of two things always happens in these truth or dare stories. The first is that someone prank calls a god and they get angry. Then the stupid game continues. The second is that someone confesses their love for another character. Awwww. People also seem to have a habit of ignoring that fact that Bianca, Silena, Beckendorf, and Luke are dead. Truth or dare stories are clichéd, boring, and not the least bit entertaining. Even when done as parodies, they're really not that funny.

Here's how it goes: Everyone is bored. Really bored. And conveniently, a bunch of characters (most of whom aren't friends) are sitting together in Percy's cabin. Someone suggests a game of truth or dare. So, acting completely out of character, everyone agrees. Some agree grudgingly, but they go with it in the end. Characters pick either truth or dare. The first dare involves Dionysus. Another will involve Zeus. Someone will get dared to kiss another character. When it comes to truth, characters will be asked things like, "Do you love _?" The answer is yes. Always. Why? Because it's a badly written fanfiction. Usually, the author runs out of ideas at this point or continues on with pointless dares that make less and less sense by the chapter. Sometimes, they even repeat dares (and truths) and seem to have no recollection of the previous time they used the idea. Even worse, people_ still_ praise these fanfictions.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Writing a truth or dare story seemed like a good idea when you started it. But so did LSD, right? And now a bunch of people can't drive because they're still hallucinating, forty years later. Even if you really want to post something, and it's your first story, don't do it. Like I said, I've never seen a truth or dare story that's actually good.

And for the record, we all know that Rachel's last name is Dare. You don't have to make bad jokes about it by having say, "yes?" to anyone who says the word dare. It's not funny. It never was.

Having a story where characters read through the books is just as bad as truth or dare stories. They disobey the rules, (then again, so does this guide) and share a quality with truth or dares: it seemed like a good idea when you started. Frankly, what generally happens is several characters (complete with dead ones) sit around reading through the Percy Jackson books, making uninspired and"witty" remarks, but never really adding up to anything. It's just a bunch of people stating the obvious.

There are two ways it generally begins. The first is that someone receives one of the books in the mail. They gather a random array of characters (whoever the author can think of) and they all go into Percy's cabin to read the book. The other kind of beginning is that characters get sent into the past, or the book arrives in the past. Either way, everyone ends up together reading books about themselves. Already, there are several flaws with this. For example, why on Earth would Percy allow people (particularly people he knows) to look into his thoughts like this? Honestly, he's not that stupid.

So everyone's sitting there, because children with ADHD and dyslexia clearly have nothing better to do than sit around inside reading a book. As you can see, this "story" is doomed to make no sense. To make matters worse, the author gives no indication that some of the characters they're using are in fact dead or otherwise unavailable. Thalia, for whatever reason, is not with the hunters, but instead spending her time at camp while the other hunters are nowhere to be seen.

Once it's decided who should read the first chapter, the characters comment on the story with the most obvious information that any competent eight-year-old should be able to piece together. The characters laugh everything someone says, regardless of whether it's actually funny. Everyone seems half there, like they're one of two personalities: sarcastic and mean, or funny and relaxed. There's also a lot of eye rolling involved, way more than in real life. And that's about it. This carries on, getting less and less interesting, until the author runs out of ideas. Usually it doesn't take too long, but some people are really determined to get through an entire book. The result is them retyping several tens of thousands of words with little bits that they wrote inserted every now and then. And it doesn't even add up to anything.

The next three chapters are going to be similar to this one. Basically just "stories" that appear an awful lot and hardly ever end up being very good. Well, this is about avoiding clichés. Now as you rack your brain for original story ideas, I suggest you take advantage of the free Premium on Picnik while it's still around, remember that it's not ATMOS system, it's just ATMOS, Mr. "Conditional Clause," and go listen to the Young Offenders. I am shamelessly promoting this Canadian band's first album. Seriously. Go download the entire album. It's free.

-Socks


	14. Music, 16 and Pregnant, and Facebook

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

**Music, 16 and Pregnant, and Facebook**

Continuing on this little generic story series, let's move on to the next four topics: Song-fanfictions, Karaoke, Annabeth getting pregnant, and Facebook.

Song-fics, if done well, can actually turn out to be pretty good stories. I don't particularly favour them because I find it a little annoying to have to read song lyrics in the middle of a story. Actually, I would recommend just mentioning what song the story is based on and leaving it at that. Otherwise, you often end up awkwardly inserting lyrics into the flow of the story. Also, I frequently find stories where the song is either taken too literally, or isn't really relevant. So if you're going to write a song-fic, seriously consider the song you're using.

As a general rule, you should have more of your own writing than song lyrics. I have actually read stories where the amount of lyrics outweighed the amount of story. It's really not much of a story if you find yourself reading more of a song than a story.

Karaoke stories have the same problem. I've read somewhere the entire chapter is like this: _"And now Thalia will be singing (insert song name here) by (insert band name here)!" Will announced. Thalia came onto the stage wearing (insert clothing description here) and started to sing._

_(insert song here)_

_Everyone clapped and cheered as she smiled and left the stage._

No. Just no. You cannot have a chapter of _anything_ where a song takes up most of the words in it. That's not a story. That's just you copying and pasting a bunch of lyrics from a song you like.

I'm not quite sure what the point of a karaoke story is, but if you can work a plot in, great. I mean, other than the fact that it's highly unlikely that there would ever be a karaoke competition at the camp (particularly one where people are_ forced _to sing) and that Percy and Nico clearly demonstrated that they would rather spend hours searching for someone who hasn't been seen in months than attempt to sing. You know, aside from that, it works.

Now, if you do insist on doing a karaoke story, use appropriate music. No, not music that you like. Music that the characters would like. I saw a story where Percy sang a Justin Bieber song. No sixteen-year-old boy I know likes Justin Bieber, and nor can they sing that high. I also highly doubt Annabeth would listen to Taylor Swift's sappy, teenage love-y music. Clarisse would probably go for something harsher than Avril Lavigne, and Thalia would more likely enjoy actual punk and grunge than Paramore and Evanesence, both of whom are actually pop. Piper, on the other hand, would probably listen to the mainstream pop music that's always topping the itunes charts. Broaden your taste in music. Explore the underground stuff. Be a hipster. It's fun. I'm not going to tell you what music you should listen to, because that would just start an endless argument, but at least consider what the characters would listen to. That's a part of writing in character.

Concerning Thalia, I would like to point a few things out: she is classified by many people as being part of the "punk culture." If this is true, she probably likes bands like Nirvana, and The Sex Pistols. I would also like to point out that people seem to think she is "punk/Goth." Well. Let me tell you that punk and goth are nothing alike. I don't know many people who can actually qualify as Goths, but a lot of people I know are part of the punk culture. Punk, in general, looks a lot harsher and rougher around the edges. The music is heavily distorted, and involves a lot of yelling. Those who are part of the punk culture often don't look like they belong together. In fact, the definition of punk is basically just rebelling against society's standards, (that's right, Beethoven was a punk and so is the Doctor) which is done in countless ways. Punk is more about beliefs than appearance, so people often use their appearance to convey their beliefs and to stand out from society. Goth is not the same thing, it generally has a more intricate and detailed look. And trying to put Paramore and Evanesence in either of those categories is just plain wrong. Honestly, I could go on forever about this topic. Okay, rant over.

I do believe I've already mentioned that having a story in which Annabeth gets pregnant while at camp doesn't really make sense. After all, two people being alone in a cabin together is against the rules. But no! Percy and Annabeth are so amazing that they can just walk right through those rules and no one will notice or care! Chiron is blind and powerless! Then there are people who take a slightly more realistic approach and say that it happened during the school year or something.

Personally, I don't really think Percy and Annabeth would be the sort of people to rush into sexual stuff. They'd probably be too busy insulting each other. As you can see, these stories in which Annabeth is sixteen and pregnant often involve a large amount of out of character-ness. Annabeth suddenly begins to cry at everything (the horomones can't be that bad, women wouldn't be able to function for nine months) and Percy becomes, I dunno, Zac Efron or something. However, if you do manage to come up with a decent story to go along with the fact that Annabeth is pregnant, make sure you get the pregnant part right: generally, people don't realize they're pregnant until one to three months after they have sex. By this time, their body has acknowledged that there's a baby and reacts to that. If someone wants to become pregnant, they'd check earlier. Also, people don't throw up from morning sickness the day after they get pregnant.

It's highly unlikely that people get married when they're nineteen. What's more, it's pretty uncommon that two people go out from when they're sixteen to twenty. And if they do, it's likely there have been some problems in the relationship. I'd like to see a story where Percy and Annabeth break up after a year, then go their separate ways or whatever, meet up five years later, almost get together, and then decide not to. That would be much more interesting. I've only ever seen stories where they break up and then get back together again.

Finally, the Facebook stories. Seeing as you can't really write in the Facebook style, these stories usually have some confusing and awkward formatting to make up for it. It gets pretty tedious and hard to follow after a while. Also, people have conversation while they appear to be right next to each other. Am I weird for not doing this, or do people usually talk to their friends when they're close by? There's also the slight problem that demigods and technology don't mix well, as we saw with cell phones and Skype. Other than that, I don't really have a particularly strong opinion on this type of story, I'm completely indifferent to them.

And as you leave this page and go check Facebook (because I know you will) and reconsider your definition of punk, learn about the universe. It's a pretty cool place. Now, listen to _The Words that Maketh Murder_ by PJ Harvey, and count the shadows if you want to live.

-Socks


	15. Annoying and Submitted Sisters

**_Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague_**

**Submit-a-Demigod, Percy's Mysterious Sister, and How to Annoy the Campers**

Three things that once seemed like a good idea, but failed miserably. Yes, it could be because they're so overused. However, it's also quite likely that the whole submit-a-demigod, sister-you-never-knew-about, and annoying-campers things don't really have much substance to begin with. The same way that you really can't do all that much with fifty those little foam pellet guns from Dollerama.

Submit-a-demigod stories are magnets for Mary-Sues. I invite you to go take a look at the reviews for one. Almost all of the characters have touching and harsh back-stories, (or non at all) strange appearances, clichéd personalities, and are all way underweight. It's like everyone decided to take the absolute worst character they could think of and troll the person who asked for demigods.

While they do clog up the system with pointlessness, submit-a-character stories aren't actually that obnoxious. Want to know why? They never go past the first few chapters. Actually, it usually happens in a manner like this: Chapter one has a form that asks for a whole bunch of details. The next three chapters are desperate requests for good characters. They never seem to go past this point, probably because the author realized their mistake.

There are many other problems with submit-a-character/demigod stories. The little (or not so little) forms you have to fill out about your character often have one bit asking for the gender. It doesn't ask for the sex of the character. Yes, gender and sex are different. Your gender can be female, and your sex can be male. Gender is mind, sex is body. But that's a whole political debate that's way bigger than fanfiction, so I won't go into it. Anyway, aside from the violation of human rights, there are other problems with these forms. They ask for way too much information. I bet that if someone asked for a description of the character, rather than a form, the characters would be much better. Why? Because you actually have to write about the character instead of putting down bits of information. People give way to many options. If you put down a section for tattoos, more characters are going to have tattoos. People like to use these things to the maximum potential, therefore diminishing the usefulness.

The other problem is that the characters submitted aren't yours. Yes, I know, Percy and Annabeth aren't yours either. But, you've read seven books with those characters and know almost everything there is to know about them. With submit-a-character stories, you are given a character who you've never seen before, and you write about them. Since you have never seen them before, you have no emotional attachment to the characters and you just don't care about them. This results in less interesting stories and bad writing simply because the author isn't as interested. Chances are you're actually writing a different character than the one submitted.

Just to let you know, Percy doesn't have a sister. I'm sorry, was this not made clear in the books? The point is, the idea's been overused. Even in regular fiction, people frequently discover a long lost sibling. Whether the sister is there from the start, or is discovered later on, these stories end up like this: A retelling of the Percy Jackson story, but with an extra girl. It's often from her perspective, too. There's not really much you can do with this story, so I would just leave it alone.

I also think I should cover the subject of psychopaths. It's not really particularly Percy Jackson fanfiction so much as fiction in general, and everyday life. Luke is not a psychopath, no matter how many people insist he is. He shows absolutely no symptoms and, if anything, he's closer to being a sociopath. Psychopaths don't feel remorse. They don't think of other humans as people, they see them as targets. Psychopaths often seem incredibly charming, can pass lie detector tests, and some are such good liars that they can establish an entire family and life, all while manipulating the people around them. People are born as psychopaths, and they hurt their family and "friends" as easily as they would a stranger. Sociopaths, on the other hand, appear to be nervous and obviously disturbed. While psychopaths plan out every detail, sociopaths act more randomly. They often move around a lot, and sometimes attach themselves to one person, who, in their eyes, is a real person rather than a target. Sociopathy is a learned behaviour, often the product of childhood trauma or abuse. They feel no guilt, and are just as good at taking advantage of people as psychopaths. It is very hard to catch a psychopath or sociopath, and pretty much impossible to cure either, seeing as they will just lie to the therapist about getting better. These descriptions will probably sound familiar to any Doctor Who fans out there, as the Master is both a psychopath and sociopath.

Luke, however, is a compulsive liar who has trouble figuring out his morals. He shows huge amounts of regret and guilt, and having the inability to do so is one of the defining points of antisocial personality disorder (the official name for psychopaths and sociopaths). Sorry for the rant, but I think this subject needs to be cleared up, especially with the number of people calling Luke a psychopath.

And now that all that's finished, let's move onto the last topic for this chapter: annoying and torturing the characters. Stories that are about how to annoy the characters are pretty formulaic, and generally repeat themselves, and each other. Eating seafood for Percy, Star Wars references for Luke, spiders for Annabeth. I did see a story (150 Things I Can't do at Camp Half-Blood, or something like that) that was fairly original, and it was funny, too. And then, near the end, the author seemed to run out of ideas and just spent her time referencing pop culture and quoting Jenna Marbles. The stories tend to get pretty bland pretty quickly, mostly because there isn't really much you can do with the idea that hasn't already been done.

Stories where the characters get tortured? Well, what can I say? Does it even sound like a good idea? I honestly do not understand this genre of fanfiction. In no way do I see the appeal or entertainment value. They are not original. They are not funny. In fact, it's kind of a sick idea, although it is human nature. But seriously, if you find this entertaining enough to actually write, turn off your computer, sit in a corner, and seriously consider your morals. Luckily, these stories aren't too common.

So now that you're seriously questioning how you've been living your life, and contemplating the fact that your best friend might be a psychopath, I suggest you listen to _Malcolm_ by _The Arrogant Worms_. We're getting into the last stretch of this guide, and I find it kind of scary to think about the fact that this is going to end. And remember, if it's alien, it's ours.

-Socks


	16. Universes, Athena, Bloopers, and Books

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

**Alternate Universes, The Next book, Athena the Evil, and Bloopers**

Well hello there. I bet you're tired of these chapters about clichéd plots and stories ideas, aren't you? Yeah, me too. Luckily for all of us, this is the last chapter like that. Then we'll be moving on to bigger and more interesting things.

All right, alternate universes. There seem to be two main types: the kind where often, everyone's mortal and conveniently at the same high school, and the kind where Percy becomes a god in The Last Olympian. Now, there's nothing wrong with these stories other than the fact that they're overused. It is actually possible to create a perfectly good story using one of these ideas. But! Usually this is not the case. Both of these topics tend to become angsty, out of character, and way too romantic for me to even consider reading. Oh wait, isn't that like, every story in this fandom?

In the all-mortal high school stories, either Percy or Annabeth have climbed the social ladder all the way to the top, and the other one is the new kid. Which ever one's the new kid is shy (and out of character) and the popular one is arrogant (and also out of character.) Keep in mind that in the books, neither Percy nor Annabeth are either of these extremes. I suppose you could write a mortal high school story where everyone is in character, but the story would be very strange. Annabeth and Percy probably wouldn't be friends, considering how much they liked each other at the beginning of The Lightning Thief. It was under very particular circumstances that they became so close, and it's pretty much impossible for those circumstances to be reproduced in a high school setting. You _could_ explore how their relationship could have been, but it's more likely that you'd end up writing a romance.

Then there are the stories where Annabeth just conveniently switches to Goode for absolutely no reason. And there's some whiny annoying girl following Percy around. And Percy's captain of the swimming team. And it's just one big cliché waiting to happen. And then Percy and Annabeth make out in the hall and everyone's okay with that, even though the usual reaction in real life tends to be more along the lines of everyone yelling, "Get a room!"

Also, not everyone goes to Goode. Just thought I'd throw that out there, because a lot of people don't seem to understand that. Connor and Travis are year-rounders. Annabeth goes to a boarding school. As in, not Goode.

And now for the ultimate question: Why would Percy choose Annabeth over being a god? A lot of people I know thought it was sweet, but _seriously_? He could have been a _god_. A freaking god! Clearly, some people are just as confused by this choice as me, because there seem to be an awful lot of stories out there about Percy becoming a god.

To be honest, the stories are pretty out of character before even the first word is written. I mean, Percy's fatal flaw is that he's illogically loyal to his friends, so why would he ditch them to become a god? Personally, I would have gone with the god option, but apparently Percy didn't. Anyway, these stories tend to revolve around Annabeth dumping Percy for some guy (who is pretty much the same in every story) and then Percy ends up with Artemis or Athena, the two goddesses least likely to want any sort of romance with him. Aphrodite's always there, too. And sometimes Percy becomes a major god for no apparent reason. Occasionally, Percy and Annabeth stay together. And then they have some horribly predictable "drama" and get married and live happily ever after. _Awww._

So, writing the next book in the series the way you would have done it, eh? Well, I suppose that's what fanfiction's there for. Really, what are these stories? In the end, they often have a lot of Reyna-bashing sessions, and are just copies of events and monsters that happen in the other books. Actually, this happens in a lot of fanfiction. If you're going to write a story about Greek mythology, make sure you know more than just what's in the Percy Jackson books. There's also an awful lot more romance in these next-book stories than in the actual Percy Jackson books. And a _lot_ of Percy and Annabeth making out the second they see each other, and then confessing their true love. But, this _is_ fanfiction. That's what it's here for, to write what you think should happen. So I can't really argue.

People have this idea that Athena is a total lunatic bent on ruining Percy and Annabeth's relationship, who spends all her time stalking them. I can see where this idea comes from. I mean, she wasn't exactly fond of Percy in the books and she did threaten him once or twice. But that doesn't make her a helicopter who hovers over the two of them 24/7 and freaks out at the slightest touch.

If you remember, Athena, while she didn't exactly approve of Percy and Annabeth being friends, eventually congratulated him for his bravery and decided that he wasn't so bad after all. I highly doubt she would try to blast Percy to atomic dust because of his relationship with Annabeth.

Also, Poseidon probably wouldn't step in to save the day. He's not exactly what I would call a reliable parent. And Poseidon isn't the most relaxed person in the world. Sure, he seemed that way in the books, but that was around Percy, his son, who he also almost blasted to pieces. Before you protest, remember that he is the god of the sea and earthquakes. The one who would have stirred up Hurricane Katrina, caused Haiti to tumble to the ground (as if they didn't have it bad enough already), and wreaked havoc all over Indonesia and the rest of Southern Asia in 2004 with that 9.2 earthquake and the tsunami that followed.

And finally, the subject of bloopers. Once again, a subject that I really don't see the appeal in. The "story" is basically just characters screwing up things they were supposed to say as if it were a movie. Blooper stories are overdone, uncreative, and nowhere near as entertaining as actual bloopers, probably because real outtakes generally involve some sort of visual aspect in the humor. I really don't know what to say about these. I don't understand the point of them, and they don't seem very interesting. But there appear to be tons of them, so the situation needed to be addressed.

Whew. Done. Those were definitely not my favourite chapters to write, so I'm glad they're finished. Basically, if you see a story on fanfiction, or an idea for a story, don't write it. Especially if you see more than one of the same topic. There are many much more creative ways to write fanfictions, like coming up with your own story rather than using one that's been done a hundred times. Of course, some clichéd ideas have been used to create incredible stories, so that's not to say that they're all bad. Most of Shakespeare's stories were stolen from other people. Now, go listen to _Keasby Nights_ by _Catch 22_, climb some trees, and do what you've got to do. Save the world.

-Socks


	17. The Gods

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

The Gods

If you are writing Percy Jackson fanfiction (which I assume you are, since you are reading this) there is a pretty good chance you can name the twelve Olympian gods and which two gods got kicked out of Olympus. But, I've met a surprising number of people who have read the Percy Jackson books, or even written fanfiction about it, and can't tell me pretty much anything about any of the gods. Since you're writing a story that may focus around them, and certainly includes the gods as characters, you should know at least a little bit about them, shouldn't you? Yes. Yes you should. It's shameful how many people don't even go to the trouble of learning anything, though.

I'm going to go through the major and some minor gods, as well as a few titans, listing important things to know about them. No, Norse, Nubian, Babylonian, Aztec, or any other ancient civilization's gods. Those don't count as Greek mythology. By all means, stick them in your story. Just consider that they're not actually supposed to be there. Of course, if you can come up with a plausible reason for them to still exist, go ahead. From what I've heard, there is a reference in the Kane Chronicles to the fact that the Greek gods are still around. So here they are, a whole bunch of Greek gods.

Zeus: Youngest of the six god-children of the titans. Ruler of Olympus, giving him free rein over pretty much everything, except for the ocean and underworld. This causes some confusion as to who makes the hurricanes, seeing as they're windy storms that form over water. Zeus uses a lightning bolt to zap whoever he doesn't like, which is a lot of people. He loves women and has as many, ahem, _affairs_, as he can. He doesn't like it when people question his power, wisdom, or pretty much anything else about him. His mother, Rhea, saved him from being eaten by Kronos by feeding Kronos a rock. Then he grew up and made Kronos puke up all his other kids. Lovely. He also had over a hundred children, deity and mortal alike. Only three of them were with Hera, his wife. This is debatable, as the mythology is over 2000 years old and a lot of it changed, depending on who you asked.

Poseidon: God of the sea. He also created horses, which seems like a bit of a strange mix. Poseidon was known for being very moody, although not while his son is around, apparently. He also has control over earthquakes and is Zeus's older brother. Poseidon could be a nice guy and give sailors perfect weather conditions. He could also get angry, and for whatever reason, take his rage out on unfortunate places like Malaysia, Haiti, Florida, and particularly Japan. Must be all that fishing they do, or something. Poseidon married Amphitrite, a water nymph. She was actually his second choice. His first choice was her sister. Ouch.

Demeter: Goddess of grain and farming. Another of Zeus's siblings. She causes the seasons to change, depending on whether or not Persephone is in the Underworld, which doesn't quite seem fair to humans, who need food and didn't get Persephone stuck there in the first place. She's fiercely loyal to her daughter, is something of a helicopter parent, and forces grain on people like a religion of it's own.

Hera: Goddess of marriage and family. Ironically, these were two parts of her life that she really seemed to struggle with. She was tricked into marrying Zeus, her brother, but then remained impractically loyal to him afterwards. Unsurprisingly, she hates all of Zeus's children except for her own three. She also has no demigod children because she, unlike Zeus, doesn't cheat on her spouse. But just because she likes the concept of family, it doesn't mean she likes her own at all. Also, Annabeth hates her. In case you really didn't get anything out of the Percy Jackson books.

Aphrodite: Goddess of love, sex, beauty, and anything else that falls into that category. She's not technically an Olympian, but they gave her a place as one of the main twelve anyway, which is kind of annoying when you're trying to prove that looks aren't everything. Aphrodite was born from sea foam and Uranus's blood. Lots of fun. In fact, her name means _frothy_, or something like that. She liked messing with people and watching them fall in love, only to rip them apart and shed alligator tears at their misery. When she rejected Zeus, he forced her to marry Hephaestus, whom she hated, so she quickly hooked up with Ares. She has a whole bunch of boyfriends, but no recorded girlfriends. I imagine she spends her spare time crying over Titanic and the season finale from the second season of Doctor Who.

Hermes: God of everything that no one else has taken, although mainly thieves, travel, messages, probably the internet, and countless other things. He traded a lyre for a cow with Apollo the day he was born, which just goes to prove that you can't trust newborn babies who can talk and reason with you. Hermes is just about the busiest person in the world, and has to take the phrase "don't shoot the messenger" quite literally sometimes, seeing as Zeus isn't the most practical of people. He has probably invented every lolcat and internet meme out there, and also has a designer store named after him, which really doesn't make sense, since he's the god of thieves.

Apollo: God of music, healing, archery, the sun, young men, cows… don't worry, I don't get what cows have to do with anything either. Apollo is Artemis's younger twin, no matter what The Titan's Curse says. He also had a large cabin at camp and several girlfriends, although they all tended to end up in pretty bad situations once he was done with them. Cassandra could predict the future, but no one believed her (she probably would have gotten burned at the stake if it were 1200) and Daphne got turned into a tree. Apollo is the god of music, and therefore likes and plays good music. What "good music" is really depends on what your tastes are, so do whatever you want with that part. The Greeks viewed Apollo as a kind of ideal male beauty. He probably would have been at Woodstock.

Artemis: Twin sister of Apollo, goddess of the hunt, young women, childbirth, bears, archery, and the moon. She took a pledge to be an eternal virgin. This means that she can never have kids. Ever. So toss that child-of-Artemis story in the trash before you get too wrapped up in it. The only man she ever respected was Orion, who met a sticky end. On the bright side, he ended up as a constellation! As to how he actually died, well, I've heard seven different versions of it and there are probably more out there. Artemis leads her pack of virgin hunters through the forest. If she catches one hooking up, they get shot. If one of them leaves to get married, she blesses them. However, anyone who gets married at the age of thirteen is not going to do too well. Artemis had some silver arrows, which provided a painless death for women, usually during childbirth. It is unknown what these arrows did to men seeing as Artemis was clever enough not to mix them up with her regular arrows. She really seemed to enjoy killing things.

Athena: Goddess of wisdom, visual arts, and strategy. She was born from Zeus's head, which is pretty creative seeing as almost every other god came out the ordinary way. Of course, they were also conceived the ordinary way, while Athena was not. In fact, she was conceived by Zeus turning Metis into a fly and swallowing her. You gotta love Zeus. Athena got Athens named after her for beating Poseidon in a competition in which she made olives, and Poseidon made a fountain. I don't like olives, but I guess the people of Athens really did. Athena was also an eternal virgin, which makes Annabeth's conception a little strange, but since we don't know what the term "brain child" means, we'll just have to assume it means that Athena turned into a fly and Annabeth's father swallowed her.

Ares: God of war. Ares loved fighting for the sake of fighting and never turned down a challenge. He often argued with Athena, who preferred to plan strategies rather than head straight in for a bloodbath. In the Trojan war, Ares took the Trojan side while Athena sided with the Greeks, who won. He was not a very popular god, and was pretty cowardly, although he didn't hesitate to beat up one of Aphrodite's other boyfriends, which is pretty hypocritical, considering Aphrodite was cheating on Hephaestus and Ares cheated on everything he could.

Hephaestus: God of blacksmiths and fire. Hephaestus was unpopular among the gods. Although he was useful and generally pretty good-natured, he was really ugly. So ugly, in fact, that Hera chucked him off Mount Olympus right after he was born. This didn't help him get any prettier. Later he came back to get revenge on Hera. Despite being hideous, Zeus still managed to get him married to Aphrodite. She wasn't exactly faithful, and Hephaestus ended up setting up traps for her and Ares. Hephaestus made just about everything that the gods needed in his shop, and is probably to blame for Jersey Shore and MTV, seeing as he supposedly created television.

Dionysus: God of wine and parties. Originally a demigod, Dionysus's creation of wine earned him a place in Olympus, which seems a bit strange when you think about all the accomplished people who didn't get the godship status. Dionysus was known for being cheerful and friendly and a pretty relaxed guy, although not while at Camp Half-blood. He saved Ariadne, who was deserted on an island by Theseus and fell in love with her. They got married, but like every other god, one person was not enough for him.

Hades: God of the Underworld and Zeus's older brother. Hades drew the shortest straw and ended up ruling the Underworld. Not surprisingly, he got pretty lonely, so he kidnapped Persephone to be his wife. After a lot of stubbornness on both his and Demeter's part, Zeus decided that Persephone was to split her time between her mother and Hades, which doesn't really seem fair, considering it was her life and Persephone didn't even get a vote. Hades was feared by the Ancient Greeks, but he was neither good nor evil. He prefers to operate alone and not take either side. Generally sticking to his own thing in the Underworld, Hades doesn't really socialize much. In fact, in the original Greek myths, he couldn't even have children because he was the god of the dead.

Hestia: Goddess of the home. Hestia was the oldest of Kronos's god-children and gave up her seat in Olympus to avoid conflict when Dionysus was joining the group. She was extremely peaceful, and as thanks for giving up being one of the twelve main gods, she always received the first part of a sacrifice. Like Athena and Artemis, Hestia pledged to remain an eternal maiden. She turned down Poseidon and Apollo, who both proposed to her.

Nyx: Goddess of darkness and the night. Nyx was a shady figure, literally and figuratively. There really aren't any legends specifically about her, and the only people who worshipped her were basically like today's Satanists. She was a terrifying character, and one of the first beings to be born from Chaos. Strangely, she was also the mother of the gods of day, light, and several other happy subjects, as well as some creepy ones. Chances are she wouldn't have too many demigod kids.

Pan: God of nature. Pan was a son of Hermes. He was pretty strange looking and loved playing practical jokes. Unsurprisingly, he was good friends with Dionysus. He also seemed to be a pretty fair player, accepting defeat when Apollo beat him in a music competition. Sadly, he seems to have died.

The Muses: Goddesses of the arts. There were nine total Muses, each with her own area of expertise. Calliope was the leader and in charge of epic poetry. Clio had history, Erato had love poetry, Euterpe had music, Melpomone had tragedy, Polyhymnia had hymns, Terpsichore had dance, Thalia had comedy, and Urania had astronomy. Artists and writers, like Shakespeare, would often write a plea to the Muses when they needed inspiration. The Muses hung around with Apollo, Aphrodite, Apollo, the Graces, and Apollo. I always imagined them a bit like Apollo's raving fangirls, but that's just how I saw it. Artemis probably wasn't too fond of them.

The Graces: Goddesses of beauty and, well, grace I guess. There were three of them, Aglaea, Euphrosyne, and Thalia. Yeah, I know, there's also a Muse named Thalia. They're not the same goddess. The Graces stuck with Aphrodite, kind of like her back up dancers.

Chaos: Chaos was not the god of anything, and, as far as I know, androgynous. Chaos was the first being and gave birth to Gaea, who created pretty much everything else. According to some legends, Nyx and Eros were also from Chaos. Did you get all that? Chaos was an abstract figure, not an actual person. It's a _concept_. So if you've got a child of Chaos floating around in one of your stories, you'd better have pretty damn good explanation for how that kid exists.

Eros: God of love. Eros's golden arrows could make you fall in love, and his lead arrows could make you fall out of love. Of course, if you get stabbed with a large pointy thing made of lead, you'd probably die instead of just falling out of love. Eros is partly to blame for the nymph Daphne getting turned into a tree. Although, that was also Apollo's fault for provoking him. Eros's parentage is a very debated subject. It's either Aphrodite, or Chaos (since no one could have been created without love. Because the Greek gods were just oh-so _loving_.)

Kronos: Kronos was a Titan, and one of the sons of Gaea and Uranus. He married his sister, Rhea, and had a whole bunch of kids, six of them being Hestia, Poseidon, Hades, Demeter, Hera, and Zeus. Unfortunately, someone told him that his children would overthrow him, so he ate them. When Zeus was born, Rhea saved him and fed Kronos a rock, which really makes you question why anyone would put faith in these deities if they could be tricked that easily. Anyway, Zeus grew up and made Kronos throw up all his siblings. Then they overthrew Kronos and tossed him, along with the rest of the Titans, into Tartarus. In the original myths, Zeus eventually forgave them and let the Titans live in Esylium.

Rhea: Zeus's mother. She was married to Kronos, her brother, because incest is a necessary part of Greek mythology. Anyway, she tricked Kronos into eating a rock instead of Zeus, who later beat the Titans in a war and took control. The Titans were surprisingly peaceful beings, a lot more than media portrays them to be. During the time that the Titans ruled, it was said that there were not wars, giving that era the name The Golden Age.

Gaea: Born from Chaos, Gaea is literally the Earth itself. She had a son named Uranus. Then she had a bunch of kids with him. Ew. Most of the kids turned out to be pretty nasty pieces of work, but the Titans were okay. Of course, Uranus was not very happy with the Titans either and locked them away. Gaea helped them escape and defeat Uranus, who's blood fell into the sea and created Aphrodite. Kronos turned out to be no better at handling kids, seeing as he ate his. Then Zeus was almost as bad, eating Metis because he heard a prophecy saying that any son of hers would be more powerful than him. Paranoia seems to run in the family.

Thanatos: God and personification of death. Technically, since Hades couldn't have children because of his association with death, Thanatos shouldn't be able to either. He certainly didn't in any of the original myths. Thanatos's mother was Nyx, and his many siblings included Hemera, Nemesis, Charon, Aether, Hypnos, Moros, Lyssa, and several others. He was just as feared as Hades, but seen as a natural cause and had a fair amount of respect from people.

Prometheus: Prometheus was the Titan who created humans. Then he gave them fire, and food, and the general necessities for life, which angered Zeus. He got strapped to a rock and everyday, vultures would come and eat his liver out. But since he was immortal, it just grew back. Prometheus sided with Zeus in the war against the Titans, along with his brother, Epimetheus. Epimetheus created most of the animals in the world and married Pandora, who was a gift from the gods and created by Hephaestus. Prometheus warned his brother not to trust anything the gods gave him, but Epimetheus could not resist Pandora. Then she opened a jar and let all the evils out into the world, which just goes to show that occasionally brothers do have useful advice.

Helios: Titan and personification of the sun. His son Phaeton crashed the sun into the Earth, creating the Sahara desert. Zeus dealt with Phaeton the same way as all his other problems and zapped him. Then he fired Helios and gave Apollo the job.

Selene: Titan of the moon. Selene had a brother and a sister, Helios and Eos. She was the Titan and personification of the moon, and fell in love with Endymion. He was granted one wish, which he used to remain asleep forever. Why he chose this is unknown. Selene had a whole lot of children with him, who became stars.

Eos: Titan of dawn. Eos flew across the sky each morning to announce the arrival of her brother, Helios. Aphrodite caught Eos with one of her boyfriends and cursed her to fall in love with pretty much every guy she saw, which turned out to be a lot harsher than it sounds. Her son, Memnon, was killed in the Trojan War. Eos was so overcome by grief that she wept for him everyday when the sun set and she made her way back to the East. Her tears became the morning dew.

Persephone: Persephone was Demeter's daughter and the goddess of Spring. Hades kidnapped her and brought her to the Underworld to be his wife, which all went fine until Demeter decided to go on strike and make the humans starve, even though we had nothing to do with the whole thing. Zeus demanded that Persephone be returned to Demeter. This also would have been fine, had Persephone not eaten some pomegranate seeds that forced her to stay in the Underworld. Whether she at them by choice or not is debatable. In the end, Zeus decided to split Persephone's time between Hades and Demeter. When she was up with Demeter, it was summer. But every time she went down to Hades, winter came and nothing grew. All of this was decided without Persephone's opinion being taken into consideration. She must have been thrilled. Persephone was friendly enough, although she was weary from having to go from Demeter (who probably became a helicopter parent) and Hades (who was just plain depressing.)

Aether: God of the upper atmosphere. Aether's actually got an entire region of the atmosphere full of a substance named after him. He was the god of the air in Olympus, rather than the boring air that us mortals have to breath. It's commonly accepted that he was a son of Nyx. He never had any temples in Ancient Greece, but many historians think he probably had cults following him. Just like the _Rocky Horror Picture Show_. But with gods.

The Furies: The Furies were three sisters, Alecto (the unnameable one), Megaera (the grudge-holder), and Tisiphone (the vengeful one). Together they basically did anything Hades wanted and were the bounty hunters of the Underworld. Definitely not the type you'd like to mess with. They were also really ugly.

The Fates: The origin of the Fates is unknown, but one thing was for sure: everyone feared them, even Zeus. At least, most people agree on that. There are a few legends claiming Zeus controlled them, but it's pretty uncommon. The Fates were three sisters who determined everything about your life, from the moment you were born to the day you die. They also got to pick when you died. Your life is in the hands of three old women. Clotho spun the yarn (which represented your life), Lachesis measured it, and Atropos cut it. The Fates also helped defeat Typhon. When things were looking pretty desperate, they appeared and helped Zeus toss and mountain on top of him.

I could go on forever about all the different gods in Greek mythology. And don't even get me started on monsters, nymphs, and heroes. But I'll stop at that, seeing as those are some of the most common ones. So, not a group of people you'd want to spend time with, eh? Always cheating on each other, fighting, and whining. Actually, the Greeks created philosophy for a very specific reason: They realized that their gods were horrible people and decided that it was time for some new morals.

So there you go, thirty-two gods that you can now understand and write accurately. It's kind of strange when you think that people actually believed that these were real. Then you realize that Percy Jackson is a fanfiction of Greek mythology, so this when you read Percy Jackson fanfiction, you're actually reading a fanfiction of a fanfiction. Anyway, now that you've read this ridiculously long chapter, listen to Beck, eat a jawbreaker, and remember that you don't have to own the universe, just see it.

-Socks


	18. Character Interactions

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

**Character Interactions**

So, what does this bring us to, a total of four chapters on character? Well, what can I say? They're important. You can have a good story without thrilling car chases and a twisting plot, but you can't have a good story without characters. The problem is that sometimes you can have great characters that don't work. Any dialogue or interaction between them feels forced and unnatural. Everything they do just doesn't seem right. Well, you might have to start over when that happens, or make some serious edits. And that's why it's good to catch these things at the beginning, rather than getting thirty thousand words into a story only to realize that the characters suck.

Crossovers

Let's start with crossovers. Crossovers can be very interesting. Seeing how different universes collide and react to each other is always cool. In fact, that's pretty much what the Percy Jackson series is. Greek mythology and modern America. The tricky thing about crossovers is that you're now dealing with two entirely different sets of characters, rather than one. Unless you're doing a Torchwood/Doctor Who crossover, or something. That doesn't count. What's more, these characters were never even meant to exist around each other. They weren't meant to interact. There's also the slight problem that the laws of these different universes might conflict. One universe might insist that the Empire State building is housing aliens rather than gods. And then you have to figure out new laws, and it all gets very complicated and confusing. But, when done correctly, crossovers can be very interesting and entertaining. So don't avoid them, just make sure you know what you're doing.

Bad Guys

Mary-Sues are very obvious to the person who reads the story. This is because the Mary-Sue is usually the main character, so you spend the whole book reading about them and have way more time to criticize them. What's less obvious is when there's a bad villain. And when I say the villain is bad, I mean the character development is bad.

When you write a "bad guy" in a story, you first need to understand what a "bad guy" is. Basically, a "bad guy" is a person whose beliefs oppose and interfere with the main character, unless the main character is just a soldier and has nothing personal against the "bad guy". Does this mean that the character is a bad person? No. In fact, the "bad guy" could be a much nicer person than the main character, it's just that the stories not being told from their perspective. In lots of stories there are bad good guys (like Owen in Torchwood) and good bad guys (like the Twelve Monkeys group in _Twelve Monkeys_).

So really, it all comes down to perspective. Think about every story you've ever heard about World War 1. If you're British, American, Canadian, Australian, or some other British colony, (or Russia or France) you have heard stories in which the Germans are the bad guys. At least, they're depicted as the bad guys. But history is written by the winners, and Germany, Italy, and Austria-Hungary lost that war. In reality, the Austrian archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated. So really, the Axis had every right to get mad at the Allies side. They were just standing up for their countries and keeping to their alliances. Of course, then Germany ended up in extreme poverty and voted for a man named Adolph Hitler who promised to get them food. He was a psychopath, but the point stands: during the First World War, the Germans were not the bad guys. It really does all come down to which side you're looking at the story from.

Now, the biggest problem with writing bad guys is when you write a character who _knows_ that what they're doing is wrong. There was once an actor who played a villain in a ton of movies. When an interviewer asked how many bad guys he'd played, he told them that he'd never played a bad guy in his life, because the second a "bad guy" knows that they're bad, they become a cartoon character. Unfortunately, many writers ignore this and have villains who want to be bad. It's like how some girls I know who steal ads from bus stops because they want to be bad.

Even cartoons can't take this too far. Sure, Dr. Eggman wanted to be the Supreme Lord of Evil, but then Shadow was introduced. And as far as Shadow was concerned, he was keeping a promise to a friend by destroying the world. In _Doctor Who_ the Master and the Daleks are believable villains. The Daleks truly believe that everything non-Dalek is filth and should be destroyed. The Master honestly thinks that he would do a better job ruling the universe than anyone else and is desperate to find out why there is a constant drumbeat in his head. However, in _Sherlock_, the main villain, Moriarty, knows that what he's doing is wrong, and that's why he's doing it, which makes him less believable. The "bad guy" in a story always has to believe that they're doing the right thing, or else they don't seem like a real person, which is what you're aiming for. Every single Percy-joins-the-dark-side/chaos story (all of which claim to be different from the others) out there has this problem. When a character says that they want to end the world in chaos, they become a total joke, and the story is ruined. You can't take it seriously anymore, simply because the bad guy isn't serious about what he's doing.

Even Good People Die

It's pretty hard to write a lot of character that you hate. That's not to say that you can't have a bad person as a main character, but it's hard. The character always ends up being nicer than you intended, or you put them through tons of misery because you just hate them that much. Or maybe you despise them to a point that it's just hard to write so much about them. So usually, you're main cast of characters are people that you find interesting to write about and somewhat likable. The problem is when you start to like them a little too much. You can't bear to have anything too bad happen to them. This is where many fanfiction writers fail, and J.K. Rowling succeeds. That woman wrote a story that took place in the middle of a war, and it really seemed like it. She proved a point: you can have the most well developed character in the world, but they still might have to die.

Yes, I know it's hard. But sometimes, you have to sacrifice a good character for an even better story. If the death of this character is going to have an impact on the characters or push the plot in the direction you want the story to go, it may be the best option. It's also a good choice if it keeps the character in character. Dobby was so faithful to Harry that he took a knife to the chest for him. Bianca DiAngelo died because she felt responsible, and to change Nico. Rose Tyler got trapped in an alternate universe because she was always putting herself in life-threatening situations, and if she hadn't, there wouldn't have been much of a story left.

Actually, killing off a character doesn't even mean that they have to die. It could just be that you need to get them out of the way so that the story can keep going. They could end up living on a space station. But if you're writing a story that takes place in a situation where people are likely to die, it's a good idea to kill people in your story. Especially the brave ones, no matter how much you love them. Let's say you've got a character who's a daredevil. They're an intriguing character and they're well written. Then a life threatening situation comes along, and this person, being in character, volunteers to do some crazy risky thing to save the others, even though they might die in the process. So they go off and do that crazy thing, and they die. Because there was a 98% chance of dying in the process, and the death will affect the other characters in a major way, and because it just seems right that this is how the character would go. And sometimes, the character is just too useful to have around for the entire story. There are hundreds of reasons that a good character should get killed off.

And now as I send you off thinking about which characters should die, I highly recommend you read _The Tale of Despereaux,_ which will make you look at people in a totally different way and really change how you write bad guys. It's good to remember that in real life there's good, evil, and sort of okay, so there should be in a story, too. As you attempt to figure out which of those three categories you fit into, read about the genocide in Rwanda in 1994, listen to K-os, and remember that the Time Lord victorious is wrong.

-Socks


	19. Editing

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

**Editing**

It's tempting, I know. You've just finished writing a piece, and you're super proud of it. You want to share it with the world right away. You want everyone to see just how awesome your writing is. Unfortunately, if you publish the second after you finish writing, no one will see how wonderful your writing is. Instead, they'll see a mess full of half-sentences, misused words, spelling mistakes, and phrases that don't make sense.

Yes, editing can be a pain. It's my, and many people's, least favourite part of writing. You have to read over everything you've already written, which can be really boring. But if you want a piece of writing that isn't riddled with mistakes, you have to do it. Before I publish anything I always read over it a few times to make sure that I've said what I want to and that the whole thing is coherent.

When editing, you want to look for everything: sentence structure, spelling and grammar, proper sentences, clarity, misused words, alliteration… seriously, everything. Dialogue tends to need a lot of attention. You have to make sure your formatting is correct, and that it's clear what you're saying, and who's saying it. Sometimes in real life, a person has to repeat the same thing three times before you actually hear what they're saying, or at least pretend to. This doesn't happen in stories. It's just annoying. So make sure your character doesn't have to constantly rephrase what they're saying because it's just too badly thought out.

You also want to know where your weaknesses are. For example, if you tend to mix up homonyms, you'll want to pay special attention to them when editing, and making sure you've got the right ones in the right places. I know that I use so many commas it's ridiculous, so I watch for where I can take some out.

The tricky thing about fanfiction is that you tend to upload the story to the website while still writing. Which means that if you get a sudden burst of inspiration in the middle of the story, and it conflicts with something that has already happened, you're pretty much stuck. And that's why having an editor is useful.

They're commonly referred to as "beta readers" on this site, but it's basically the same as an editor. They read over what you have written before you publish it. Depending on the person, they focus on grammar, plot, characters, or general writing. Real, published authors can have tons of editors, but since this is the internet, you will probably only get one, if any at all. Editors are also useful when you get that sudden stroke of inspiration that doesn't quite fit into your story. They, being a different person than you, have different ideas and might be able to figure out how it can work. It's also useful to get more than one opinion on what you're writing. So even if the best you can do is discussing your story with your brother, it helps. That's what I do.

Sentence structure is something that you really want to watch out for when you're editing. If you haven't figured this out already, you'll learn right away that pronouns are your enemy. Pronouns confuse the hell out of everyone. There have even been times when I wasn't sure what I was referring to when I looked over what I wrote. They make writing flow more nicely, but make sure that you're being very clear while using them. You can never be too careful. This is also why it's nice to have the two main characters be opposite genders. It's much easier to write he-said-she-said than she-said-she-said.

Anyway, as you edit, you'll discover pretty quickly that rereading a story that you wrote yourself is just about the most tedious thing you'll ever do. Especially when it's actually getting published in print, because you have to go over it over, and over, and over. You already know the story, all the twists and turns, and you know the characters better than you know yourself. This is why having a second opinion is nice. That person has never read the story before. But, even if you do have a second opinion, rereading is necessary, and you can't ignore it.

Since this is Percy Jackson fanfiction in question, you might find that, at some point, a fight scene is necessary. These are a pain to edit, because you have to make sure that everything is where it should be and that none of the characters are dodging into walls, or walking on water. Drawing out the fighting area usually helps, if it's complicated, and then using it to track where your characters are. Then comes the editing and making sure that what you have written actually makes some kind of sense. Honestly, there aren't really any shortcuts to writing realistic fight scenes. You can read all the instructions you want, but it's the kind of thing where you've got to experience it to really get it. Basically, you have three options.

Fighting is something that you really don't understand until you do it yourself. So, your first option start Tae-kwon do, (or some other martial art) like I did, and learn from getting punched in the face. If you don't feel like working your way up to your black belt before writing your story, you can just watch the black belts and try to insert yourself in their place. Trust me, when you're actually sparring, it's a lot of quick thinking, instinct, and split-second decisions. If you miss an opportunity, it's gone.

The second option is to take up fencing. This way, you learn all you need to know about swords, and you don't get punched in the face. Instead, you wear this mask and these really weird coats that are easy to trip on, if yours is anything like mine was. Fencing is also very quick thinking. In fact, no matter what kind of fighting you do, it never goes exactly how you planned. So when fencing or sparring, save yourself the effort, and don't plan elaborate schemes. They won't work. I've tried.

If your not the kind of person who likes getting poked in the stomach, or kicked in the head, you can always just grab a bunch of action movies, (or youtube videos,) sit down, and learn like that. It's probably not the best way to learn about fighting, since you're not actually doing anything, but some people just aren't that aggressive. The problem arises when you realize that you have to find an action movie that's even mildly realistic. So don't reach for _Army of Darkness_ and think that you're doing yourself a favour. Believe me, you're not.

It all comes down to this: any fight scene is going to be a series of quick, spontaneous decisions made by the characters. You know those dramatic scenes in _Pirates of the Caribbean_ where two characters clash swords, pause, say something, and then keep fighting? Yeah, that doesn't happen. Ever. Fighting really is just (as Mad-Eye Moody would say) CONSTANT VILIGEANCE!

There are an awful lot of stories with descriptions that use the phrase "T because I'm paranoid." Here's a useful piece of advice: Don't be paranoid. First of all, paranoia can lead to depression and suicide, but I have a feeling that the people who write "T because I'm paranoid" aren't actually depressed, or suicidal. If a story shouldn't be rated T, don't rate it T. There is actually a guide (once you log in) that tells you what each rating means. Girl and friend try to split up their single parents who have recently started dating, mild swearing involved? That would be rated K+. Not T. K+. Girl meets a guy who turns out to be a psychopath who takes advantage of her, swears, abuses her, and rapes her? That would be rated T. Do you see the difference between the stories? It's just common sense. Also, you only get 255 characters to sell your story, so don't waste 23 of them saying that you're paranoid. Especially if you aren't.

I have stated many times throughout this guide that there are exceptions to every rule. And there are. If you're writing a story, and you absolutely _need_ to include a plot cliché, you can probably get away with it if the rest of your story is good enough. In fact, if your characters are completely fascinating and compelling, you can probably get away with a lot of plot clichés. But don't get too high an opinion of yourself. That never helps. When you write, you create a world, and that world has to make sense. It has to follow some sort of logic. And if to have that logic, you need to break a rule that you have always held as the highest authority, break it. If it works, great. If it doesn't, rethink, then try again. But don't hesitate to ignore rules. That's how all the out there geniuses work.

This is… big. No really. This is the last actual full chapter, and this guide is pretty much the longest thing I've ever actually written. It's kind of scary that I've only got one more chapter to write. But anyway, the whole point of this chapter was to point out that editing is useful, and not something to skip over. When a book is actually getting published, the editing process takes months. For a fanfiction writer, it could take anywhere from ten minutes to an hour, so I'm sure you can spare that time. Also, remember that nothing is 100 %, so it's okay to break rules, even if you've been following them for as long as you can remember. How do you think revolutions start? So while you plan a mini writing revolution for yourself, listen to Wussy, and remember that those who are not compatible will be deleted.

-Socks


	20. Conclusion

_**Avoiding Clichés Like the Plague**_

__**Conclusion**

If you are reading this, you have clearly stumbled your way through the magical and terrifying world of fanfiction. Congratulations. You made it. When I started this guide back in September, I claimed that I did not have writer's block. That was a lie. Thirty thousand words later, I think I've managed to overcome that writer's block that got me started on this project.

I'd like to thank everyone that reviewed, even those people who told me that I'm an idiot. And I'd like to especially thank everyone who reviewed more than once and stuck with me right from the beginning. Every single review was awesome to get, including those that told me I have no idea what I'm talking about. They were lots of fun to read.

In an ideal world, everything we ever learned would stick in our heads. This, of course, could be less than ideal when you realize that you'd remember absolutely everything, even things you don't want to. So, let me rephrase that: in an ideal world, everything _useful_ we ever learned would stick in our heads. But, this is not an ideal world. Instead, we get an extremely messy planet to live on, and an even messier place to go when we want to escape it, named the internet. Since you will not remember everything I wrote in this guide, here are some things that I think are particularly important:

-Unsolved mysteries are the best. They're super useful, and all around us. For example, life and death are unsolved mysteries. So is Jack the Ripper.

-Humans are really lazy, so you have to impress them right away, and continue to afterwards. People aren't going to change this quality in the foreseeable future, so don't wait around for it to happen.

-Edit like there's no tomorrow.

-The Percy Jackson characters are not yours. They have preset personalities, and, as a writer, it is your job to stick to these personalities.

-Balance is the key to success. And it's not easy to do.

-Planning helps. When you don't, you run into all sorts of problems. It's like making cookie dough and then realizing you don't have enough butter. And the stores are closed.

-You can sometimes get away with a bad beginning, but nothing excuses a bad ending.

-Writing is an art. You can experiment with it however you want. Just because you've never seen something been done, that doesn't mean that it can't be done.

-Plotholes are like cupcakes filled with dinosaurs. They're annoying, and they don't make sense.

-Romance by itself is not a plot. End of story.

-Annabeth keeps a lot of things to herself. This makes her hard to write, but not impossible. Be careful not to exaggerate her personality in any direction. I could go on about the other characters, but I often find that Annabeth is the most miswritten.

-No one is "calm, but sometimes random and crazy. A nice person but if you hurt her/his friends, watch your back!" That's barely a personality, anyway. Also, it is not healthy to be five-seven and weigh 102 lbs.

-Characters are real people, so treat them that way. They just happen to live in a different universe than you.

-Never have a gay character whose only personality trait is "gay."

-People who live in Manhattan do not live in houses. Research your setting.

-Make sure your story has more story than music lyrics.

-People die. So do characters.

-Every world has to have some sort of logic to it, even if it's completely made up. For example, dead guys cannot get live girls pregnant, no matter what.

-Greek mythology is over two thousand years old. It's not going to change just because your story requires it to, so don't force it to bend into whatever shape you want.

-Bad guys are people, too. They have emotions, and reasons behind what they're doing, whether it's for revenge, or simply because they really do believe that muggle-borns are inferior.

-It might seem a bit obvious, but _avoid clichés like the plague!_

I suppose I should put in a disclaimer, but there are really just too many copyrighted things I used to actually look up who owns each one. So, here's a list of everything I referenced, mentioned, or used that doesn't belong to me:

Percy Jackson, Twilight, Sonic the Hedgehog, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Nutella, Bomb the Music Industry! Luna, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, To Kill a Mocking Bird, My Sister's Keeper, The Gorillaz, Karma Police, The Mary-Sue Test, Lord of the Flies, Across the Universe, Cut/Copy, Shutter Island, Jersey Shore, Neverwhere, Oasis, Wikipedia, Emily Brontë, Greenday, The Ramones, Pink Floyd, Going Bovine, The Higher You Fly, Hollerado, Google, The Hunger Games, Porcupine Tree, Shakepeare, Microsoft, Bad Romance, Chapters, One Less Lonely Girl, Amélie, 150 Things I Can't do at Camp Half-Blood, Jenna Marbles, Star Wars, The Young Offenders, Dollarama, Catch 22, Beck, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Titanic, MTV, Hermes, Twelve Monkeys, Sherlock, The Tale of Despereaux, Army of Darkness, Pirates of the Caribbean, Wussy, Buck 65, Torchwood, Community.

And anything you have seen in this guide that isn't on that list belongs to me, so please do not take my ideas or writing.

Since starting the journey of writing a guide about writing a fanfiction, I have gone through so many fanfictions, I lost count. That's right, I braved the depths of stories with names like "TRuTh oR DaAre!11!" and "Percabeth Foreverz" for you people. So you'd better appreciate it. I guess I've learned quite a bit, not to mention that this is the longest piece of writing I've ever completed.

It's been several months since I started this guide. I've changed in some ways. For example, I discovered the TV show _Torchwood_, which had me close to tears. I've also lost a significant item that had been with me my whole life. But, in the end, I'm still obsessed with _Doctor Who_ and hedgehogs, I still hula hoop dance, and I still have not managed to convince myself that visiting the _Harry Potter_ domain of fanfiction is a good idea.

And now as I bid you good bye, I would like to say that it has been an honour to write this and to have it read by you wonderful people. This is most likely my last piece of work on , so if you read anything else by me, it will hopefully be published, and under my real name, Anna. So, go out there, write a lot, and break all the rules. Watch the TV show _Community_, and write proper letters on proper paper. Carry around muffins so that when you say, "aww, _muffin_," to somebody, you can actually hand them a muffin. Now, visit Australia, travel through Europe, listen to _Buck 65_, and remember that everything has its time, and everything dies.

Sayonara, Shadow the Hedgehog.

-Socks


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